Retro TV

So they have run out of clever episode titles by this, the 5th episode from the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Have I mentioned how lame the opening credits sequence is…I always hate it when an actress is driving and they just look ultra-alert like that’s what you look like when you are driving…

Open in on the news room, Mary’s on the phone, doing nothing as usual. What a great job, seriously, she has nothing to do, except take Mr. Grant’s abuse and make some phone calls — maybe that is all associate producers do.

A Mr. Carelli is here for Mr. Grant and after Mary does the receptionist’s job, Mr. Grant knows him and brushes him off. To make matters worse, he’s in insurance now, and Mary falls for the pity thing. And now, he coming over to talk about insurance with her. Ah, the pushy insurance salesman…classic early comedy stereotype.

Mary is doing Rhoda’s hair in the next scene, maybe that night, it’s not clear. Phyllis pops by to get the girls’ support for her pro-capital punishment raffle with the grand prize being an antique guillotine, but the girls are not interested.

How ’bout that? Frank Carelli is a day early, and he’s talking really loudly. Phyllis spills it that she and Lars are going to be frozen when they die. Awesome. Like Fry…

When Frank opens his briefcase, he “accidentally” pulls out his old football glory pictures. And why, I don’t know, maybe he’s picking up on Mary. Nope, he thinks he’ll be a great sportscaster. Maybe she can say something to Lou. Mary hedges the pressure sell, but she folds. She always does.

Cut to Mary talking to Mr. Grant about the sportscaster job, but the job is highly-sought-after, and Mr. Grant doesn’t think Frank is the guy, but he’s willing to give him an audition. Mary takes that as triumph, and returning to her desk, Frank is now under her desk. He’s too much. And because he is too much, I know he won’t get the job. He would be a terrible regular cast member. Luckily, he plays Mary his demo “diary” tape, and he is terrible.

Rhoda and Mary are having dinner, listening to the tape. And why? Mary is one of those people who thinks she can help people, no matter how sad sack they are, and the diary contains a passage when Frank gets fired. Yep, Mary is going to help that Frank. Cue the sad music. And no laughter.

And maybe it’s the next day or next week. Frank arrives with ingredients for dinner, and Rhoda thinks that Frank is after Mary. Mary poo-poo’s the idea, but Frank has no idea what the concept “personal space” means and admits that he likes bigger girls.

It’s minutes for the audition, and Murray is trying to help Frank add some jazz to his try-out sportscast. But there is no helping this guy. Another auditioner, played by real-life 3-time Pro-Bowler Timothy Brown, is a total hot shot, and an African-American, but this is pre-Affirmative Action days, so I guess that won’t make a difference. And as TV is 98% white, we know that the hotshot ain’t gettin’ the job either.

If the numbers don’t tell you how white TV was or is, Timothy Brown also played a guy named “Spearchucker” Jones on M*A*S*H in 1972.

Back at Mary’s and Frank’s depressed. Mary is trying to give him a pep talk, but Frank never made the first string, so owning a restaurant is out of the question. This guy should coach little kids.

He starts talking about Florida as a paradise, and he’s jetting off for there tomorrow. He’s crazy, and I hope he is leaving, because he’s lame. But no, he’s off with high fives and a rah-rah spirit.

Mary and Rhoda enter Mary’s apartment again. Mary gets a tape in the mail with no label or return address. No way, it’s Frank. And guess what, he’s coaching kids…well, a park director job, and he’s so happy!!

I called it.

I guess “Keep Your Guard Up” makes more sense now, but it’s still not that clever.

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Lou Grant, Mary, Phyllis

I am thinking the title of this the fourth episode from the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore Show is a play on “money isn’t everything”, but I kind of have a feeling I am off on that one.

Open on the news room, and Ted Baxter is overthinking his answers on a questionaire from his fan club, and Murray needs an out-of-the-ordinary human-interest story to close the broadcast. He finds a little blurb in the paper about a club for divorced people — which must have still been a little exotic back in 1970 (bottom graph on left show this to be true), because I don’t quite get the “oddness” of the support group.

Back in Mary’s awesome apartment, Rhoda and Mary are exercising — Rhoda in baggy sweats and Mary in a leotard topped with a t-shirt. Odd combo, Mary. Rhoda just happened to see the news tonight and asks Mary about the divorce club thing. Of course, she wants to join and wants Mary to do it with her.

The kicker is that the divorce people’s club gets considerable discounts on travel to Europe if you are a member. Rhoda is a great salesperson, and Mary is sold.

It’s the “Better Luck Next Time” Club. Awesome. And from the get-go it seems more like a Cookie Kwan/Lindsay Nagel networking event from an episode of the Simpsons. There is a creepy dentist — the official club dentist — and he is going on and on about Mary’s wonderfully fabulous teeth. Mary is terrible at lying about her non-divorced divorced status, but luckily, lying is where Rhoda really shines.

The girls are forced to mingle with lame divorced people, with Mary trying hard to be polite and Rhoda not bothering. They get picked up on by some real winners, which is making me think that this theme of the struggles of the single girl will be a big part of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Mary’s had enough, but she is stopped from escaping by the beginning of the official meeting in which the club’s officers are being elected. Do I see a secretary position for Mary? No, the scene ends.

Back at the AA (awesome apartment), Mary is peeved. Phyllis calls and the news comes out. Mary was elected Vice President. Gee, I was being a little sexist there, eh, thinking she would be secretary instead of VP. Just trying to put myself in a 1970’s frame of mind.

Now, Mary has just arrived at the creepy dentist from the BLNT club. He is really creepy, and I cannot figure out Mary is still in the chair. The writing is very sexual beneath the surface, and the guy playing the dentist reminds me of Phil Hartman. And that makes me sad, because I really miss Phil Hartman.

Mary is forced to fess up about not being divorced. The dentist absolutely refuses to listen to her as he does not want to not work on her teeth. And what year did Marathon Man come out, because some of this scene is really, really similar in that a dentist is exploiting someone in a vulnerable position, and I want to think that it is on purpose. I’ll check on that.
[Marathon Man the book was published in 1974, and the film was released in 1976 -- just a coincidence, I guess]

The dentist’s real motivations for nominating Mary for VP was that his brother was running and he thought that by nominating Mary, his brother would be sure to win. He forces her to return to the club, tell the truth and resign, or he’ll snitch about her singleness.

Cut to the next meeting. The dentist offers Mary an out by letting her say she has reconciled with her phony ex. And now, Mary is forced to lie, which gets her out of confessing her lie, but she is terrible at lying. The guest characters we met earlier all object as she was just elected last week, and want to give her a shot anyway. Mary frustratingly confesses her sin in order to get the hell out of this crazy club. Rhoda defends her, by saying she is not really divorced either…and then everyone else starts confessing. No one is divorced, but the Young Republicans were all losers. Brilliant.

[And after watching this, yes, it is a play on "money isn't everything." Divorce represents the saving of money in terms of a ticket to Paris. Clever...]

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Mary Richards, Rhoda Morgenstern, divorce, single girl, comedy, Marathon Man, Phil Hartman, Cookie Kwan, Lindsay Nagel, Simpsons, Young Republicans

First, I love the title of the episode, “Bess You is My Daughter Now.” In so far as we are now here on the third episode of the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, two of the three episode titles are clever, and if there is one thing I like, it’s clever.

Also, I am hoping that this episode has something more than just Mary’s love life as a subject. Not that her lovelife isn’t funny, but it’s time to expand.

We open in the news room, Murray and Mary are watching the moronic Ted Baxter refer to a veterinarian as a vegetarian. Rhoda phones, Mary’s late, and is going to meet her at her place before heading out to a movie.

Rhoda is waiting at Mary’s place, because you know with the whole issue of Rhoda wanting Mary’s apartment in the pilot, as the main character’s best friend, she’ll be in that apartment all the times anyway, so she might as well just have a key. Anyway, Phyllis needs Mary to watch Bess, as Lars (the never-seen husband) has come done with the chicken pox, which for for some reason, Rhoda finds hilarious because it’s a kids disease. But I’m pretty sure that the older you get, the more dangerous chicken pox can be, so way to go, Rhoda, he could die and you’re laughing at him. I guess they didn’t know that about chicken pox back in 1970.

Bess enters in full drag — Phyllis’ wig and makeup. By the way, Bess calls Phyllis Phyllis, because Phyllis reads child psychology books and she’s modern, which means that Bess is very angsty for a ten-year-old. I like her.

Phyllis gives Mary a beer stein, as that is what Bess likes to drink milk from. Now, I love her.

Mary takes Bess shopping the next day, because all little girls need to grow up to be consumers. It’s a pretty lame montage, but it does establish that Bess is growing fond of Mary - and the attention. She starts acting like a little girl again, instead of a morose little adult. Mary’s girlish enthusiasm for life wins the day.

Back at the apartment, Rhoda comes over and notices what a nice little short person Bess is. And then of course, Mary congratulations herself on her potential to be a great mom. Always with the traditional woman’s role in society, isn’t it, Mary?

Phyllis arrives to announce that Lars only had poison oak. Bess doesn’t want to come home, and Phyllis’ modern mothering supports her decision in a reverse-psychology sort-of way — because that always works.

Mary thinks she is to blame for this new independence of Bess. Phyllis knows it’s a phase, but doesn’t let the opportunity to be passive-aggressive go to waste.

Back to Ted Baxter and his pronunciation coach, Murray, practicing the upcoming newscast. This is going to be an on-going joke, methinks.

Bess shows up at the WJM office. We get a nice dose of Ted and Mr. Grant, with a side of Murray offering Bess the anchor job after she correctly says Richard Milhouse Nixon rather than Ted’s Richard Mil-horse Nixon.

Back at “home” with Bess, and I just noticed that Mary has a Joan Miro print on her wall. She’s so hip. Bess goes out for TV dinners, and Phyllis brings over some cabbage soup. Typical kid. They don’t want Mom’s cabbage soup, and tricks the other adult into junk food.

Mary has to come out finally and tell Phyllis that she doesn’t agree with Phyllis’ parenting skills, and Mary thinks that if Phyllis shows Bess how she really feels, instead of being so “strong”, Bess will want to come home. Phyllis’ insecurity over being a mom had lead her down a draconian of the Ayn Rand school of parenting. When instead if she showed her emotional side and her love for her daughter, she would have a better relationship with her.

Ah, Mary…she can fix anything. She might just make it after all.

And there is an odd little coda at the end of “Bess, You is My Daughter Now” — Mary and Rhoda talk over some credits. Have they done that before?

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Mary Richards, WJM News, Phyllis, Rhoda, Bess You is My daughter now, season one, Lou Grant

This is the second episode of the first season of the seminal Mary Tyler Moore Show (originally aired on September 26, 1970), and we finally get to see Mary doing a real job at her new news job. She gets to read off the ratings for Mr. Grant during an odd all-standing meeting. She defends the ratings for the show among young people as she watched it even before she got the job.

Mr. Grant informs Mary that she isn’t young. Oh, no he didn’t! And then the mail boy calls her “ma’am” when he needs her to move.

Cut to a bitch session with Rhoda. Mary doesn’t want to complain about being single, but she is, so there it is. It’s awesome how quickly her and Rhoda became fast friends. I guess being lonely in a new city brings the gals together.

Enter Phyllis. Cloris Leachman really is a goddess. She plays Phyllis as such a great contrast to the single girls, as someone who fell for the advertising of marriage, but wishes she could take it back for a refund.

The ladies are pondering which available men they knew that they wouldn’t mind getting to know better, and I think I smell an awkward double-date coming up.

Mary phones up Howard, a guy she dated once four years ago, and the dude is total stalker material, but Mary doesn’t remember this until it is too late. And then Rhoda calls up her potential beau, a guy she hit with her car a few months ago. He accepts the invite to Mary’s for drinks, but…he’s bringing his wife. Sweet. This should go swimmingly.

Next night and the girls are all gussied up…for an overly enthusiastic guy and a married guy. Don’t get that one. But Rhoda seems to think that Armand Linton will be divorced soon…until the cute little blond Mrs. Linton walks in. Mrs. Linton is a dead-ringer for Angela from The Office, except too tan.

Howard arrives and he is all hugs and photographs. Why, Mary, why? He is living in a freaky fantasy world in which Mary remembers his favorite drink. This guy is super awesome, but Rhoda steals the scene as the fifth wheel in the room.

Somehow things get confused and the guests think they are there for dinner rather than just drinks. She thought 8:30 was obviously after dinner, and I thought it was going to be a funny moment in the kitchen with Mary and Rhoda covered with flour and sauces, but no, Mary just explains the no-dinner situation, and we move on.

The happy couple take off with some creative excuses. Howard takes the alone time to make a move on Mary, and he is crazy forward proposing marriage. But then he backpedals and says she’s too good to marry and he needs his freedom to jet off to St. Paul at a moment’s notice. Priceless.

Mary agrees quickly, realizing she has an out.

The constantly-eating Rhoda returns and swears off anyone but “a couple she really likes.” Love her.

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Mary Richards, Rhoda, Phyllis, dating, single woman

The Mary Tyler Moore Show began it’s seven season run with “All is All Around.” It all began on a Saturday night at 9:30 way back in September 1970…

Funny how Saturday night is now one of the worst nights in TV programming. In the 1970’s, it was the night to watch network television. CBS Saturdays nights during the decade included All in the Family, M*A*S*H, and The Bob Newhart Show. I couldn’t even name one show that airs currently on a Saturday. What caused that change, I wonder? Did restaurants and bars ask the networks to stop showing their better shows on Saturday, so more people would go out and spend money instead of staying in? Hmm, another topic, another day.

“Love is All Around”

I am not entirely sure whether or not the premiere episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show can be considered a pilot. Pilots are usually rougher than this, more awkward and unsure of themselves. Not only that, but pilots are usually a sort-of audition for a television series. I am thinking that The Mary Tyler Moore Show was guaranteed a spot in the CBS lineup, and maybe it is because of that confidence that “Love is All Around” may just be one of the best pilots ever produced for American television.

Ok, so Mary Tyler Moore is Mary Richards. She has just moved to Minneapolis. She has just left a long-term relationship with a man that she supported through medical school, but who doesn’t want to get married. Mary is living above her long-time friend, Phyllis, who owns a large Victorian house, and her new apartment is coveted by the aggressive and gruff Rhoda. You learn all of this in about four minutes. That is what I call efficient writing. And the writers you ask… James L. Brooks and Allan Burns.

Cloris Leachman is Phyllis and Valerie Harper is Rhoda. Both of these characters will go onto their own spinoffs.

In addition to the exposition in the first part of the episode, we also get insight into Mary’s less-than-assertive nature. However, I have a feeling that is all going to change. Of course, one of the foundations of storytelling is a little something called the character arc, and despite most shows best intentions, I find that few American sitcoms have much in the way of a character arc for it’s main characters. They may change a little, but can you name how Dr. Cosby grew as a character over the many years of the Cosby Show? I didn’t think so.

What makes the Mary Tyler Moore Show so good in terms of story and character is not only the absolutely stellar casting of the wacky band of newsmen that Mary is surrounded by as well as the strong personalities of Phyllis and Rhoda, but also that so many of those characters get character arcs. And when they get to really show development in an episode, it usually resulted in an Emmy.

But let’s get back to our episode, “Love is All Around.” The title itself is coming from MTMS’s theme song. it comes after the opening lines, including “How will you make it on your own?” This all goes back to the theme that Mary is unmarried, but rather than feel sorry for herself like so many of the women of the earlier decades did (but hardly on TV), she is a liberated woman. She was going to make it on her own. Dammit.

So after Mary sees her new home and meets the ascerbic Rhoda, she goes in for an interview at WJM news. She is going for a secretary position, but it has been filled. However, even though Mr. Grant (the brilliant Ed Asner) is “thinking of hiring a man” for the job, he’s willing to give Mary a shot at it, after she shows she’s got “spunk.” Grant: “I hate spunk.”

We also meet for the first time Ted Baxter, played by the delightfully obtuse Ted Knight (Caddyshack); as well as the chronically-put-upon newswriter Murray Slaughter (Gavin MacLeod before the awful Love Boat). These co-workers will become Mary’s family, in a twist from the traditional family-based sitcom. Instead of Mary as a wife or mother, she becomes just that to a hard-drinking father-type Grant, the boobish childish Baxter, and the angst-y Murray.

To finish the episode, Mary’s as-of-a-month-ago ex-boyfriend is coming for a visit. Rhoda hopes he’s coming to beg for Mary back with a marriage proposal, so she can finally get the apartment. Phyllis hopes Mary does get married so she too can understand how “suffocating” it is. The ladies leave, and the doorbell rings.

It’s a very drunken Mr. Grant. And why is he there, Mary asks. Grant slurringly tells Mary she’s got a great caboose, and Mary suddenly realizes why she got the job at WJM. Grant says his wife has a better caboose. And then he starts rambling on about missing her, before he resolves to type her a letter on Mary’s portable. The bell rings again and Bill has arrived. As Bill and Mary express their feelings to one another, Grant’s soused brain thinks it’s his own thoughts and the words go into the letter. Until Mary adds, “All my love, Lou.” And the letter is finished. Brilliant. Grant leaves to send the letter.

Bill is a dumbass, showing up with flowers from a patient in the hospital. He cannot say the words I love you without stumbling, and he pleads with Mary to say something, as she always has a way of saying things just right. But Mary says she is horrible at saying goodbye. Bill gets it, and takes off with a “take care of yourself.” Mary’s response: “I think I just did.”

You go, girl! She’s might just make it after all.

Mary Tyler Moore, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, CBS, All in the Family, Bob Newhart Show, M*A*S*H, Cloris Leachman, Valerie Harper, Ed Asner, Ted Knight, Gavin MacLeod, Caddyshack, The Love Boat,

Bob arrives home to an empty Hartley Apartment. He is expecting Emily to be there, and as he begins looking around for his lovely, lovely wife, the door opens, and Emily is just arriving home. It could be one of those situations that could go the way of jealousy and what was Emily really doing, but no, nothing that scandalous in “Emily, I’m Home…Emily?”

Instead, Emily is coming home from an all-day school board meeting, and Bob mentions that he is happy that she’s home, and how about a quick dinner and a night in watching the game. So Emily doesn’t watch football, and that makes me think either she likes basketball or Bob doesn’t really care about whether or not Emily enjoys the games that he is always watching. It doesn’t matter as Emily’s school board meeting is not really over. They have broken into committees and Em’s committee is on their way to the Hartley Apartment.

What about Bob?

He’s decided to watch the game on the TV which is on those cute little TV carts that allow you to watch TV anywhere. It’s different from today, as if it were 2009, there would be a plasma in every room. But wait, the committee has just arrived and Bob has to meet them. One of the teachers thinks Bob is a chiropractor. Another crack at the fact that even though Bob is a Dr. Hartley, he is not a traditional doctor. Ah, the 70’s.

It is kind of a funny thing, the whole psychologist thing. Psychology in the 70’s was still a rather “crazy”, new-age-y kind of thing that not everyone fully accepted as a legitimate field of “medicine.” I don’t think that new watchers of the Bob Newhart Show would fully get that. I don’t fully get that, but I do have some television and film history courses under my belt which tells me that the 70’s was one of those periods in which a lot of traditional mores and cultural ideals started shifting. It’s a generational thing. My grandparents would never have thought of going to a psychologist, whereas I run out of fingers and toes counting the number of friends I have with shrinks.

But I digress, the episode moves on. There are some comedic moments in the bedroom with Bob watching basketball. A beer commercial comes on, tempting him, and he realizes that he is kind of a prisoner in his own home. It’s a funny moment when he puts on a suit in order to walk to the kitchen.

Anyway, the episode takes an odd turn the next day when Emily announces that the school board has offered her a job. But who will clean, cook, and wash clothes???

And that’s where the episode goes. Emily takes the job, the Hartley’s get a Spanish-speaking housekeeper, and Bob gets lonely enough to ask out Mr. Carlin, his reoccurring patient that doesn’t think that anyone likes him. He really is a darling character, played by the perfectly-cast Jack Riley (right).

Bob gets drunk, and that alone is enough of a reason to watch the full-episode.

The whole crux of the conflict in “Emily, I’m home…Emily?” is that Bob thinks he is a liberal, modern guy, but really he would prefer Emily to continue subbing instead of taking a full-time job. Remember when Bob freaked out about the expensive birthday watch that Emily spent her money on…Bob gave her sh*t about spending the money and he makes a comment about the small income she has. Stupid Bob. Does he want Emily to be her own person and make more money of her own, or does he like having her under his thumb?

Bob and Emily talk it out, of course, and Emily’s new job makes her really happy. Bob’s got nothin’ on that.

Emily keeps her job.

Bob has to learn Spanish.

Trivia: Jack Riley is the male voice in those Country Crock commercials.

Bob Newhart, Bob Newhart Show, sitcom, television history, 1970’s, liberal, modern

Ooh. We get a teaser in this episode, the 19th of the first season of the Bob Newhart Show. Bob Newhart is known in comedy history as the king of the one-sided phone conversations, and we get a taste of it before the credits roll.

Ew...

Howard’s baby sister is coming for a visit. He wants to stash some stuff at the Hartley’s. You know, women’s clothes, a hair dryer, some unmentionables…He doesn’t want his little sis getting the wrong idea about his swingin’ 70’s divorcee lifestyle.

Finally, we get to see Howard’s apartment. He is having Bob and Emily over for dinner to introduce them to his lovely sister, Debbie. Howard is convinced his sister is a sweet, innocent, impressionable kid and he is trying his hardest to make it seem that he has no life whatsoever in terms of women and sex. It’s refreshing to see a classic TV show so frank about the life of a single man. I have to wonder how old Howard is supposed to be? Or how old his parent’s are, since Debbie is 22.

Brilliant moment alert! When the Hartley’s arrive, Howard offers them a drink, and he wheels out a beverage cart stocked with those little airplane-sized bottles of booze. Howard checks on dinner and Debbie asks Bob about his being a “shrink.” We all know that Bob hates that word, but he humors her. She mentions that she did a new age-y sensory awareness weekend the previous summer and she got to run naked through the woods. Um, I don’t think that Debbie is quite as innocent that Howard thinks she is.

More brilliance at dinner. Howard is serving…airplane food. For anyone who hasn’t flown before oh, say, 1995, when you flew, you got meal service. Actual no fooling food. Hot food, that came on little trays, and though they weren’t very good, at least the airlines were trying. Now, you can buy those stupid snack boxes full of salty treats. Super. I always take my own food on planes. I mean, come on, you can buy fast food at airports or salty snacks on the plane. No wonder Americans are so fat.

But I digress…There is a wine service gag that is priceless! Bob Newhart is so deadpan, and it is such a delight in this world of sitcom dopes and broad physical humor. Too bad this show is more than 35 years old.

A few days later at the office…

Emily sneaks a quick conversation with Jerry, asking him to take out Debbie, to give her a little relief from Howard’s big-brotherness. Jerry agrees, once Emily says Debbie is hot. He’s soooo shallow. That is one of the great things about the Bob Newhart Show. It’s a rather modern depiction of the single man, as seen in both Howard and Jerry. Howard is divorced and thus scared of commitment, lest it goes south, and Jerry is a unrepentant bachelor and afraid of commitment, lest he gets bored with one woman.

Jerry comes to the Hartley’s to pick Debbie up for the date. Howard acts like a dad watching his daughter go out to prom. For a blind date, there are immediate sparks between Jerry and Debbie.

I think you can guess where this is going…

The Hartley’s apartment is dark. Someone starts banging on the door. I bet that’s Howard. Bingo. He walks in with his red phone, which makes me laugh. Who has a red phone? The “kids” get home late. Howard tries to act like he wasn’t freaking out, which he was.

Next day, and Howard pops by Bob’s office. He needs to talk. No! (shocked disbelief) Howard breaks down, asking Bob why he treats his sister like a little girl. Bob explains it may take a while to figure that out, and Howard starts on a slobbery analysis of his own. And Bob sees that some cures are instant. A funny moment, that is cut short by the next appointment. How is this guy in charge of navigating an airplane?

Debbie leaves, and Howard comes over to thank Bob and Emily for dealing with him during this trying time. Bob had just been expressing how miraculous Howard’s analysis was and how it’s the quickest cure he’s ever seen. Howard agrees, and Emily says how nice it must be to be honest with Debbie about hairdryers, and she then says that Howard must know about Frank. Oops. Emily, Emily, Emily…

This is a good episode to watch, if you want to see an example of why the Bob Newhart Show was such a hit and why it continues to have the legacy it does. Bob Newhart does best when surrounded by crazy people, and between Howard and the patient he deals with in the middle of the episode, he is knee-deep in neuroses.

Trivia: Heather Menzies, who plays Debbie, was married to the late Robert Urich. She is a cancer survivor and works at the Urich Fund for Sarcoma Research at the University of Michigan (my alma matter) Comprehensive Cancer Center. She also played Louisa Von Trapp in The Sound of Music.

Bob Newhart, comedy history, comedian, one-sided phone conversation, 70’s, television show, classic TV, sitcom, Bob Newhart Show, Heather Menzies, Robert Urich, University of Michigan, cancer, survivor, The Sound of Music

We are working our way through the first season of the iconic The Bob Newhart Show…Specifically, the 18th episode.

In “The Two Loves of Dr. Hartley“, Bob is faced with a patient that confuses her gratitude for Bob’s services as a psychologist for love. Seems Mrs. Walker lost a lot of weight, thanks to Dr. Hartley, and she is sure she is in love with Bob — Trust her, she’s been married for 12 years and “this is different.”

Oops, end of the session, and she needs to go. But she is in a fragile state, now that Bob is not reacting the way she had hoped. Bob pawns her off on Jerry (the Dentist), to keep her mouth busy, as Mrs. Walker eats when she is upset. Problem not solved, but deferred. For comedy, I’m sure.

Bob arrives home to a headless Emily, who has a zipper stuck in a full-length black turtleneck dress. She is so chic, seriously. Cue phone ringing. Guess who…it’s Mrs. Walker. She threatening to eat a twinkie! Bob talks her down, but he now has Emily’s insecurity to deal with. Bob has to explain to think of her like a “rock star with fans.” She’s sorry for having a twinge of jealousy, but she has another one before they can leave for a lovely dinner for two. She needs reassurance. Geez, even Suzanne Pleshette needs to be told how pretty she is sometimes…

Next day, and Jerry is trying to explain how Vegas works to Bob in terms of gambling, but Bob will only bet a quarter. He’s so cheap. Bob and Jerry were just on their way out for the night, off to watch the game at Bob’s. Oh, no, Mrs. Walker meets them at the elevator. She has to talk to him. Mrs. Walker might not be Mrs. Walker anymore. She told Mr. Walker all About Bob. Oh, snap.

On the homefront, Emily is setting up snacks for Bob and Jerry and Howard for the big game. Ten minutes to game time, and Bob is still at the office. Mrs. Walker is crying, and Bob lets Em know that he’ll be later than expected. Emily is having a hard time, and needs to talk, and whining to Howard is the best she’s got. Does she have any friends?

Howard bumbles his way through Emily’s crisis. There are these two huge mugs of beer on the table getting warm. You know, those beer mugs that you see in German beer halls. Hmm, beer. Oh, where was I? Oh, yeah, Emily is stupidly talking to Howard, and Howard is bungling everything up. Jerry arrives. He tries to cover for Bob. Oh, this is going to be funny. Howard and Jerry are the two worst people to have around when you are upset.

The guys are watching a great Bears game. Bob finally gets home, and as soon as he has shut the door, Howard and Jerry are up and leaving. Bob is trying to play off the situation as nothing big, but Emily is upset and you know what is going to happen. Bob and Emily need to talk. Emily needs Bob to dump Mrs. Walker.

Bob insists this is Emily’s problem. Bob asks if this is all because Emily’s sister got a training bra first. Bob then tries to give Emily examples, but they all turn into doctors that marry patients. Oopsy. Bob tries again, but is distracted by the game on the television. Strangely, this does not upset Emily — instead she tells him she loves him. Huh?

A few days go by, Emily pops by the office. And Mrs. Walker is just leaving Bob’s office. How convenient! Oh, but wait, Mrs. Walker is back together — happily — with Mr. Walker. Emily mutters how happy she is to hear that. And the end.

Yeah, where did that ending come from? A little abrupt for the Bob Newhart Show. Another fairly forgettable episode, but one that shows us that one of the perils of psychology is that your patients may fall in love with you. Yes, even if you look like Bob Newhart.

Trivia: The actress who plays Mrs. Walker, Emmaline Henry, usually played wife characters, but in real life, she never married.

Bob Newhart Show, Bob Newhart, Suzanne Pleshette, Bears, Emmaline Henry, psychologist, psychology, The Two Loves of Dr Hartley

Continuing on with the first season of the Bob Newhart Show…

It’s Bob’s birthday. Emily awakens him in order to give him his gift. A wrist watch. Aw. She even got it engraved. However, Emily let Bob sleep in because it’s his birthday after all, but he’s late for work.

Carol greets him, she unaware that it is Bob’s birthday. Bob is trying not to make a big deal about his birthday, and of course, he tells everyone to not make a big deal about it, and of course, nobody knows it’s his birthday. Ha, classic.

Jerry notices the fancy new watch, and tells Bob just how expensive it is. Bob plays it off that it’s a gift, and he shouldn’t care how much it costs. Bob really is trying to take the high road here, people, but Jerry forces the issue like he always does. Bob is a passive agent in this scenario, like most scenarios in which Bob finds himself.

Looking at the watch, as a viewer, it is fugly. A shiny, inch and a half wide band, and very garish. And it’s worth $1250…Bob now wonders why Emily would spend so much on a watch. For him.

Bob is too self-conscious to wear his watch. He hides it from his patient, and then takes it off on the El. Emily explains that she just wanted to give him a really nice watch, and she does make her own money teaching (she subs and only makes a few thou a year). Bob ruins an awesome birthday present by making a big deal about Emily spending the cash. Oh, Bob…he just cannot appreciate the sentiment or nice things. Emily points out that the problem is that he is cheap. And yes, she is offended. Bob wants to take off for a walk, but Emily insists she is coming along as she wants to go out to a restaurant — a trap. And Bob should wear the watch to dinner, as everyone will want to see it.

Oops, wrong cast.

Surprise!! Cue all cast members. Carol was only acting that she didn’t know it was Bob’s birthday. She helped Emily plan the party. A sit-down dinner for 12. How fun. Too bad, Bob can’t have fun. Gifts are given. Bob is uncomfortable, and doesn’t want to bore everyone by opening them in front of everyone, thinking he’ll “open them later at home.” No deal, Bob. All gag gifts, too.

A brilliant moment occurs when Carol asks Emily why Bob is so unhappy. Sitting next to Carol is Jerry, who asks the same question. The guy next to Jerry then asks the same question, and you see where this is going. It’s a telephone game around the table at that point, and turns into Bob and Emily are getting a divorce because she spent a hundred thou on that damn watch.

Bob and Emily return home, not speaking, but Bob forces the issue. And he tries to explain his cheapness. She offers to take him to the jewelry store to exchange it for a watch he does want. Ah, she’s the best, and she loves him. Sweet. What a sweet ending.

All in all, a fairly forgettable episode. Bob is cheap, and doesn’t like being the center of attention. I am pretty sure the episode’s name is a take on the Frank Sinatra heroin-addict movie, The Man with a Golden Arm.

And how about this…Hulu has this episode. Enjoy…well, kind of, I mean, yeah, enjoy. It still beats most of what’s on TV…

Bob Newhart, Bob Newhart Show, Man with the Golden Wrist, Man with the Golden Arm, Frank Sinatra, Hulu