Retro TV

As a young child with older parents in the 1980’s, I remember having to watch the Golden Girls. I never really admitted to liking the Golden Girls to anyone before, but it had its moments. I do remember liking Bea Arthur the best out of Estelle Getty, Betty White and Rue McClanahan, as she was dry and funny and didn’t take any sh*t from her lame ex, Stan. And she always wore those long flowing outfits complete with jacket and/or scarf. And those shoulder pads…hey, it was the 80’s.

Then I started watching retro tv, and I discovered Maude. If you have never watched Maude, I will be starting a new thread on Maude as soon as I get the discs from Netflix.

Bea Arthur was born the decidedly unglamorous Bernice Frankel in New York City in 1922. She soon moved with her family to Maryland, went to high school in Pennsylvania and college in Virginia. She returned to NYC to study drama at the New School. She appeared on stage as Lucy Brown in the English-language premier of Kurt Weill’s Threepenny Opera, going on to play Yente the Matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof and Vera Charles in Mame with Angela Lansbury. Arthur went on to reprise the role in the film version with Lucille Ball as Mame.

And then there’s Maude…

Bea Arthur was originally cast as Edith Bunker’s feminist cousin as a foil to the overt sexism of Archie Bunker in All in the Family. She made such a splash as the acid-tongued Maude Findlay that CBS made the smart move and gave Bea and Maude their own show. And what a show it was. Covering all kinds of controversial material, the apex of the series in terms of scandal came in the two-part “Maude’s Decision” episode, in which she decides to end a late-pregnancy with a *gasp* abortion. You think abortion is controversial today…many CBS affiliates refused to air the episode, which, hello, means that everyone who might not have watched the show in the first place tuned in to see what all the fuss was about.

Arthur needed a change after six seasons. She took a break, danced in the Mos Eisley Cantina in a Star Wars holiday special. Then she turned again to sitcoms in the Golden Girls. She was a perfect complement to Betty White’s ultra-nice, ultra-naive Rose from St.Olaf and the overly promiscuous Blanche (McClanahan). [A little tv trivia for you: White was originally cast as Blanche, and McClanahan as Rose; but White had already played a slut on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and McClanahan had already done sweet and innocent on... ta-dah... Maude. Both actresses feared being typecast and agreed to switch parts.] But the best combo came from Arthur’s play off of her “mother” Sophia, played by the younger Estelle Getty. Getty’s ascerbic tone played right into Arthur’s deadpan sane-among-the-crazy Dorothy.

For younger viewers, you may have noticed Arthur’s guest spots on Futurama as the Femputer when Fry and the boys are forced to make it with really large women in “Amazon Women in the Mood.” She also played Dewey’s babysitter in an episode of Malcolm in the Middle in which she likes dancing to ABBA’s Fernando.

Bea Arthur survived an incredible 7 decades in the entertainment industry, and that is no small feat. For Maude alone, she is a star in the television history firmament.

I say, rest in peace, Bea Arthur. You made me laugh and think, and for that, I thank you.

Bea Arthur, Maude, Golden Girls, Futurama, Malcolm in the Middle, Star Wars

Let’s go back to 1981, shall we?

Gimme A Break! debuted on television on October 29, 1981. The pilot was called “Katie the Crook.”

Honestly, I scarcely remember Gimme A Break! before Joey Lawrence entered the show. As the episode was starting out, I kept looking around for him, thinking that he was one of the kids, but then I remembered that he was one of those orphans that sitcoms loved adding to the sitcom family back in those days. So no, Joey Lawrence in this episode. His character, Joey, (easy enough for him to remember, I guess) comes along in the third season.

So here we go…”Katie the Crook,” everyone.

My first question when this episode opens was, “Is the fish tank always half-full? Those fish are going to die.” I should have known from the opening credits montage that maybe this would be the day that Nell (Nell Carter) accidentally vacuums up the goldfish. And then she did…wow. However, I am still wondering if the half-full thing was because vacuuming up a full fish tank would take too long or if subsequent episodes will also have a half-full tank? Is this an on-going gag? It’s kind of mean if it is. Unless the goldfish are fake, then it is kind of funny.

Sam, the youngest Kanisky daughter and future lesbian, comes home from school with a black eye. A boy hit her, and she wonders how come boys can beat up girls? Like I said, she’s going to be a man-hater. Nell is going to teach her to box, to defend herself, but instead jumps around a bit and does that cute Nell Carter-is-a-big-girl-but-she-can-still-move thing she does. Problem solved!

Next, Nell enters the kitchen where bookish, gawky, nerdly-er middle child, Julie, is studying sex ed from a book and her study buddy is a mono-brow shorty named George. There is a long stretch of Julie talking about polliwogs and an oven, which just keeps going on, until Nell cracks a joke about not doing anything she wouldn’t do. Um, yeah.

But where is Katie? She has been staying out later and later as of, um, late, and she is again late. Sorry.

Chief gets home. Chief is an old, white, probably Polish police chief and as he lives in a Los Angeles suburb, I am not sure where this guy is a chief. I’m thinking small town rather than LA, but who knows, it’s a sitcom. I’m just thinking that a police chief for Los Angeles would be better paid, as exhibited in the house of the Kanisky family. A racial joke or two, and then Chief catches Julie kissing George (ew). Daddy is old-fashioned, and as this is the year that saw the birth of MTV and a year before the release of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the old fashioned father thing is going to be one of the show’s themes.

A knock at the door and a uniformed policeman is delivering Katie to the Chief hoping to get noticed for promotion, I suppose. Katie and her friends were caught shoplifting.

Gee, that Katie sure has been different since her mother died…And it begins. The show is about Nell “Harper” working as a don’t-call-her-the-maid. Chief’s wife died and he’s got three daughters. What will he do? Ah, Nell had promised the now-passed Margaret that she’d stay around and take care of the family. Yeah, because that would be the only way that Archie Bunker’s brother, Carl Kanisky, would ever hire a sista.

Dad and Katie fight. She points out the obvious and says, “But she is dead.” He kicks her out. She goes to pack, sisters come in to persuade her to stay, she apologizes. So does Dad. They hug. And to try to save the schmaltzy ending, Nell steals the spotlight by crying loudly for…the goldfish.

Yeah. How did this show become a hit?

Gimme A Break, Nell Carter, Joey Lawrence, MTV, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Archie Bunker, sitcom

Ah, the summer of 1982…takes me back. I have absolutely no memory whatsoever of 1982, except the I do remember seeing this episode of Family Ties. I must have seen it when Family Ties went into syndication.

“Summer of ‘82” is a play on Summer of ‘42 — funny, the Simpsons also did a send up of Summer of ‘42, but it didn’t have anything to do with sex between an older woman and a younger male, which is the main point of the movie, but did have something to do with a beach house much like the setting of the film . Anyway, Alex P. Keaton gets laid for the first time in “Summer of ‘82″. Actually, he is used as a single-serving lover by a college girl that takes him to a Milton Friedman lecture…or something.

The episode really focuses on the burgeoning star of Michael J. Fox as the consummate symbol of the Reagan Era and 80’s sitcom dominance on prime time TV. Fox was quickly becoming the breakout star of the show and more episodes were being written to focus on his comic timing and likable capitalist character.

“Summer of ‘42″ also lets Jen (Tina Youthers) mug for the camera in that adorable way she did in the first season of the show, before she grew up into a borderline pudgy teenager with huge blond mall-rat hair.

Mallory and Elyse have practically nothing to do in this episode, the fourth aired in the first season (original airdate was 10/27/82 ). Steven gets to ask Alex the lamest question any dad ever has asked their son, “It was your first time, wasn’t it?” I mean, ew, creepy.

Of course, the laughtrack for Family Ties can get distracting if you allow it, too, which I usually do. But still, it is hard to deny the charisma of Fox and the rather odd time capsule that Family Ties has become, signaling an interesting time in the US when Liberal became a bad word.

Family Ties, Alex Keaton, Michael J Fox, 80’s sitcom, prime time, television, Reagan Era

As I mentioned before, I discovered the joys of Bob Newhart on WGN. I mean, sure, I remember it from when I was a kid, but I never really watched a lot of network sitcoms growing up. So, it was a nice surprise to find WGN playing Newhart (the one with Bob as an innkeeper in Vermont).

I decided to find out what other gems WGN’s weekend line up was offering.

The whole time zone thing can be tricky, as I am looking at listings for the Pacific Time Zone, but since WGN is out of Chicago, it would make more sense to list all shows in Central Time. But instead, I am going to list things EST/PST. If you live in the Central Time Zone, subtract an hour from EST, and if you live in the Mountain Time Zone, add an hour to PST.

Coach 5pm/2 pm and 5:30/2:30 pm

On Sundays. after all the quasi-religious programming that WGN offers the Craig T. Nelson sitcom, Coach, from the 90’s. Great show except for the love interest, Shelley Fabares, who was originally Donna Reed’s daughter in the 50’s. I kinda wish she had retired back then, but then again, I am a b*tch. Otherwise, I liked Coach, a workplace-situation comedy in a University’s football department. It helps if you like sports a little…

ALF 6 pm/3pm and 6:30/3:30 pm

After a full hour of Coach (two episodes), you can catch a true gem of 80’s programming, ALF. I was never really sure why this show lasted four season and not a gazillion, because it had a muppet in it. Muppets were pretty big during the 80’s. Make that muppet an alien that crashlands on Earth, and you’ve got your self a furry-lovable-fish-out-of-water comedy. Liz Sheridan, who played Jerry Seinfeld’s mom on Seinfeld, played a nosy neighbor. I thought she was the best part of the show, other than Max Wright as the hapless dad that harbors ALF (Alien Life Form, get it?). The wife was lame, and the kids were equally lame, as far as I remember.

WGN, Bob Newhart, Craig T Nelson, Shelley Fabares, Coach, Alf, Seinfeld, Liz Sheridan, muppet