Retro TV

So maybe it is just me, but I am thinking that the episode titles for One Day at a Time are not exactly on par with something like The Mary Tyler Moore Show. There’s no clever innuendo, or playful turns on words or other titles. I mean, “Super Blues” is about the Super having the Blues. And that is one of the more clever titles…sigh.

We open on a stressed out Romano-Cooper household. Julie is freaking out on Barbara about earrings, Ann is freaking out on Julie over pantyhose, and David arrives. It’s a party, and it was David’s idea for Ann to host a party. Ann is seriously annoying and the scene plays a little broad with Bonnie Franklin yelling at Richard Masur to zip her up as she quickly walks away from him. The zipper is stuck and this scene is now going way too long when Schneider enters with Ann’s mail. Schneider fixes the zipper, because he’s the handy man. Get it.

Schneider notices the preparations for the party and starts offering his help, and then he finds out that she has invited several neighbors. But not him. He leaves…sadly. That is cold, Ann. This guy hangs out at your apartment all the time, and you didn’t think that he’d feel left out.

Ann again starts freaking out about this and that, and the garbage disposal is broken. So, guess who Ann thinks it is appropriate to call…Schneider. Barbie calls him and after she hangs up, Ann changes her mind. She is really starting to wear out her charm when it comes to being wishy-washy about men.

Misunderstanding Barbara’s call, Schneider arrives in full party-hardy mode, and we go to commercial.

Schneider’s idea of a fun time is to wear a hand-buzzer and leave whoopee cushions around for unsuspecting ladies. He is a laugh riot! Barbie says something about the disposal, and Schneider figures out why he is there. He says something about he is the superintendent and that what the superintendent does. I think what he is really saying is that he is not a “friend”, only a superintendent. Aw, I suddenly feel sorry for the very lonely Schneider.

Ann feels bad now that she didn’t think to invite Schneider. About time. She’s so insensitive. But the first guests have arrived. A fun couple that really liven up the place. The old lady sits on the hand buzzer. Hilarious.

Ann sneaks out of the party to go talk to Schneider and we get out third set for the One day at a Time universe: Schneider’s basement apartment. It’s as sad as his life.

Now, Pat Harrington gets a little screen time to ham it up and give us a little background on his character. He’s a big John Wayne fan. So am I. Gee, maybe this Schneider-based episode was well-timed. I never really liked him before, but maybe I am starting to change my mind.

During the exchange, Ann tries to bring it all back to her, but Schneider won’t have it. We find out he was married before, and Ann and Dwayne Schneider find that they have something in common — something called loneliness.

It’s a sweet moment. And almost a little funny, too.

Cut to “Later that evening” and Schneider is the life of the party.

One Day at a Time, Bonnie Franklin, Richard Masur, Pat Harrington, sitcom

Our last episode together taught us that freshly-divorced Ann Romano is not quite ready to date seriously enough to start having sex, and this next episode, “David Loves Ann” — only the fifth of the first season of One Day at a Time –starts off with Ann totally teasing David, the divorce lawyer that is not shy about his lecherous feelings for his client.

Ann and David are home from a “date” and they are both a little tipsy. Long story short, Ann kisses David, in a very romantic, albeit drunken way. The girls bust them on it. And then there is a lot of yelling. But the yelling has brought Ann back to reality about the David issue.

David accuses her of being hung up on her pre-cougar status. She’s 34, and he’s 26. It’s a fight, and noisy with an annoying alarm clock going off. This is just jarring, and then finally Barbara breaks it up. I heart her!

And everything is right in the world, until David decides to work his way up to popping the question to Ann in front of both Julie and Barbie. But not before Schneider comes a-knocking at the Romano-Cooper ’s door at one in the morning.

I have to say, I am not sure why Schneider is ever in a scene. I know he is usually there just to lighten the lameness that runs rampant in this show. But here it is to frustrate David’s proposal, and that leads to David blurting out his plans in a very non-romantic way.

David smokes, and it is really weird to see a character on television smoking. I mean, other than Mad Men bringing it back, the Cancer Man on the X-Files is the last guy I can think of that smoked.

David is as whiny as he is overly-aggressive. You do kind of feel sorry for him though, as Ann does clearly lead him on.

Next day, or maybe a few days later — oh, no, it’s just later in the morning and Julie finds that Ann is still up. A cup of soup, and some girl talk about what is was that Ann found attractive in Julie’s father. And how she doesn’t feel that same way about David. But then again, her love with her husband went south, so who knows what is the recipe to a good marriage.

A knock on the door, and David couldn’t sleep either. He is trying really hard to be charming, and then tries appealing to the girls to convince Ann to marry him. Julie tries to get a car out of him. Cute. And then it gets sad. Give it up, David.

He rushes into Ann’s bedroom, throwing her from the bed. The girls rush in after him, but a sound from the kitchen scares them. David, armed with a can of hairspray, finds Schneider (of course) going through the Romano-Cooper’s cupboards. He’s hungry. Yeah.

Cue the yawns. David and Ann get back to hashing all of this out, and I just want it to be over. David is too pushy, and forces her to answer. They do all of this through yawns and it’s too precious and dumb. Ann falls asleep after agreeing to “fool around.” Ah, David. Another cold shower for you.

One day at a Time, David Loves Ann, sitcom, television, Mad Men, X-Files

So let’s review. So far the ladies and lads of One Day at a Time have taken us through the pressure of a single mom having to play both mom and dad roles, sexual discrimination, and jealousy over the ex’s new model/girlfriend. What in the world could “Chicago Rendezvous” bring us in terms of a moral lesson?

Don’t be a whore, Bonnie Franklin.

Ann arrives home from as date with a tall, dark handsome stranger. And she gives it up on the first date — a kiss, that is. She met him in a Chinese restaurant while she was job hunting. She “got picked up”, as Julie so delicately points out.

Julie starts lecturing Mom about the dangers of strange men. She overacts, but the scene is still kinda cute as the girls get to call Ann out on the double standard. And then Barbara tells Mom they know all about divorcee’s being “hot to trot.” So adorable, seriously.

And then the truth comes out, and Ann actually met him a few weeks ago? And they play “who picked who up”. Cute. And a little kinky. Hot to trot, indeed.

And he’s an airline pilot. And we all know about pilots (Quagmires) or navigators (Howards). Strangely, David doesn’t care about Ann dating when Julie spills the news to him. I think he likes it. Geez, the 70’s were swingin’.

When it rains, it pours. The door rings and it’s Schneider, of course, because this guy is weirdly always hanging around the apartment of the single mo and her two teenage daughters. He has roses for Ann. But the roses are from Steve, the pilot.

He wants Ann to come fly away with him. To meet up with him in Chicago. Oooooooohhhhhhhh, 80’s style.

But is Ann ready for this?

David starts acting weird as soon as he sees he’s getting bird-dogged by a pilot. I bet that happens to lots of lawyers.

Next day, and David arrives after having been called by Ann. She needs a man, and of course, David thinks she is referring to him, but he plays dumb until Ann literally spells it out for him. He freaks out, and we get the drama part of the dram-edy of One Day at a Time.

The fight goes on for a long time, and then they start yelling at the same time until Ann calls him a creep. Luckily the girls get home and diffuses the situation.

I don’t blame David in a way, as Ann has totally been leading him on, and it is a pilot we are talking about. Pilots are like sailors, girls in every port. David thinks Ann is making a bad decision, besides the point that he is jealous.

And Ann is going to tell the girls the truth about what she is doing. She’s so liberated! Take that, Gloria Steinem!

Barbara is supportive, and Julie accuses Mom of “shacking up.” You cannot get anything past Julie, and then Julie calls Ann out for not allowing her to go camping. And then while Ann is defending her actions, she starts doubting her decision to go. She doesn’t say it, but you can see it in her face.

Ann is leaving and meets Schneider a mopping the lobby. While she waits for her taxi, Schneider gives her advice. Charming. But his brutal honesty and general sleaziness further drive home the point that Ann is not ready for this “departure” of character. She gives Schneider a tender (tease!) kiss and then returns into the building.

Moral of the story: Don’t be a whore until you are damn good and ready.

One Day at a Time, sitcom, television, Bonnie Franklin, Chicago Rendezvous

We continue going through the first season of the long-running CBS hit, One Day at a Time.

The girls arrive home and singing, marching along with a stranger who looks like a suffragette from the 20’s. Turns out it’s daddy’s new girlfriend, Candace. Both Julie and Barbara are smitten.

Ann arrives home, after cleaning all day and dressed like a slob (but she’s still adorable). Ann immediately starts her passive-aggressive guilt-trip on the girls about how she was stuck home cleaning all weekend, while they were off gallivanting around town with Pretty Younger Candy.

Barbara picks up on Mom’s “jealousy” and we have ourselves a title for the episode, “Jealousy.”

Candy is an actress/model and she sells sex, so David knows who she is. And Schneider recognizes her, too, while giving us his best impression of the sex kitten that has replaced Ann.

But Ann, you made the decision to leave…

The doorbell rings. It’s Candy. Julie forgot something in the car, and this is a great opportunity for David and Schneider to drool over Candy. And the thing that Julie forgot — makeup and false eyelashes. Candy’s tips for seducing a boy that dumped Julie last week. She’s so hip, despite her old-timey style outfit.

Of course, the news about the boy is a symbol for how Ann is out of the loop, and Ann doesn’t get it according to Julie. Julie is so lame, all the time.

Ann then tries to be a bigger person, but David doesn’t buy it. And then Ann really uncharacteristically freaks out on Julie about leaving the top off a soda bottle. Weird. Julie takes it personally, and it was Barbara’s fault anyway. Julie cannot fake cry, and the scene is just awkward.

Ann breaks down, admitting her jealousy, but it’s not about Ed moving on; no, it’s about the girls liking Candy better as Candy doesn’t have to tell them to clean their rooms and other lame stuff that Mom has to enforce. Aw, Ann is jealous that the girls will want to spend more time with Candy.

David tries pulling a lawyer-cross-examination trick to get Ann to realize that her own mother was a task-master at times, and she still loved her. Ann relaxes, and is resolved to fix things up with the kids.

Meanwhile, we cut to the girls talking in their bedroom. Oh, another set piece. Finally. Anyway, Julie is only concerned about her own feelings, while Barbara is the better person and tries to make Julie see her mom’s side of things.

Ann tries to apologize. Julie pouts. Schneider opens the door and comes in. What? Why do these people allow this creepy man into their apartment? The 70’s were an odd time.

The boy that dumped Julie is downstairs (that’s why Schneider is there). Julie starts stuffing her bra and freaking out. The audience is in stitches over this.

Ann answers the door, and this Jeff guy comes in. He’s confused as Ann doesn’t announce his arrival. But Ann is trying to buy Julie some time to pretty herself up. An and Jeff start talking, and Jeff complains about his new girlfriend that he dumped Julie for. Okay. But Julie comes into the room, out of his line of sight, just as he says his new girlfriend is too fake, with lots of makeup and strawberry lip gloss. He misses Julie, since she’s real.

Ah, Julie learns a lesson about herself. She reveals that she tried stuffing and then unstuffing her bra. Jeff finds it cute. Julie admits her mistake to Ann, and the audience claps.

There’s a final joke about the gingerale being flat, but you “could always stuff it with kleenex.”

Hilarious. My guess is we will never see Candy again…

One Day at a Time, Jealousy

Ann Romano is on her knees and I kinda like it. She’s looking for an earring — Julie’s. Because Julie cannot do anything for herself, and then whines when called out on it. She tries to convince Barbara to not worry about studying for a test, when instead she could just wear some tight jeans.

And I think we see where this is going. It’s the liberated women of One Day at a Time and they bring you the brains versus body issue in this, the second episode of season one.

The divorce lawyer comes by, and he claims he’s got Ann a job as an assistant to something or other, basically a secretary to an accountant. Ann is obviously nervous, having never really worked outside the home before, and it seems like everyone is trying to get her to go bra-less and shake her money maker.

The interview. Ann is awkward, and adorable in a hideous blue suit. The accountant checks her out, and she is trying really hard. He couldn’t care less. There is an odd moment with Ann and her odd way of disposing of gum, but she’s maybe got the job because she’s “honest”. Yeah.

Back to the dismal little apartment that I know was recycled into the set for that Jason Bateman sitcom with the fat little friend that cannot spell special, of what was it called. Oh, yeah, It’s Your Move. I loved that show.

Wait, where was I? Oh, Julie is one the phone, freaking out about something. You know, I just don’t like Julie, and I don’t know why. She’s just lame. Barbara is adorable, however, especially when she is mocking Julie.

Ann arrives home, and brags about how enlightened her potential boss is, and how he understood her. She’s drunk, or something. Schneider is lurking around the door, and he comes in for some reason. I am not too sure about this Schneider guy. He just seems too tacked on for solely for comic relief.

He does have a certain charm, I guess.

Julie answers the phone all sexy, thinking it’s the boy she was just screaming at, but of course, it’s Mr. Pepperdine, the accountant. He wants to see Ann, and for some reason he thinks it’s appropriate to come by her apartment. Schneider calls Mr. Pepperdine out, and she slowly figures it out. She’s screwed…maybe literally if she plays her cards right.

David the divorce lawyer who has no problem dating his own client is defending the smarmy accountant, as Ann must have called him over after the last scene. But it is kind of his fault she’s in this mess.

She is freaking out, he tells her to be practical and use her god-given assets to get the job and worry about the guy later. Great advice there, David the Lawyer who makes money off the pain of others.

Again, Schneider is right outside the door. This time he brings necessary items for the art of seduction — a long- stemmed candle, a bottle of chianti. Wow, the 70’s must have been so lame.

Ah, I feel for Ann. It sucks to be a cute girl and try to get a real job in a male-dominated industry. Can we help that we are adorable? Why should we be punished for being nice?

David and Schneider both argue for playing up her sexuality, but Ann is not having it. She feels it shouldn’t be necessary, and though she’s right, she’s also living in a magical land of make-believe.

You’d think that some things would have changed since 1975.

Huh, it seems that David isn’t really dating Ann. She seems to just keep him dangling around waiting for her. Oh, she’s a tease. Got it.

Pepperdine, who real name is Holsten (I don’t know why I came up with Pepperdine), is at the door and he’s got a pink-wrapped bottle of bubbly. The daughters play gatekeepers, and fake that Ann is sick.

The next morning and Ann confronts Holsten in the office. She’s “refreshing” and he apologizes. He’s actually a Harvey Korman-type and I have always had a thing for Harvey Korman, but then he already gave away the job? What a dick.

But wait, outside a girl is waiting to interview. Ann overhears the conversation as she uses the phone, and Holsten is using the same line on the new blond he used on Ann yesterday. She kicks him in the shin.

Cute. She’s just so cute…like a leprechaun.

One Day at a Time, sitcom

Here we are, starting off a new show, with the very first episode of One Day at a Time. As the title is “Ann’s Decision“, I was worried that we’d have to sit through the whole “decision” of Ann’s to get a divorce, pack up her two daughters, and move to Indianapolis.

But no, the Romano-Coopers are settled in their apartment, and we see all that happened in that rousing opening credits sequence. But hey, who is that moving the non-nuclear-family in? Why it’s that one guy, David, played by Richard Masur, who is Ann’s boyfriend in the first season. Were they seeing each other before Ann got divorced? Oooh, scandal!

“Ann’s Decision” opens on Julie (played awkwardly by MacKenzie Phillips) talking on the phone with presumably a friend. Something about two teenage girls plotting to do something without their parent’s full knowledge of the true situation, which I’m sure we’ll find out soon. It’s one of those “I’ll tell my mom that your mom said yes.” No dads at all…

Note that Julie reassures her friend, Trudy, about the plans, describing her mom as a “liberated woman” when the issue of boys comes up.

The door opens and Mom’s home. Ann is an Avon lady? And it’s a recession. Hmm, timely.

So Julie breaks the news about Trudy’s mom saying yes, so she’ll call Trudy and tell her that her mom said yes…but Ann is not having it. She gets the truth out of Julie about the camping trip with boys, but not before Julie calls her “old”. Julie then tries to assuage Mom’s fears by explaining that the boys are seniors, so it’s ok. No deal, and Julie poutingly brings up how things were different before the divorce. I wonder how many times that little trick is going to come up.

Thank goodness that cute, fiesty Barbara (Valerie Bertinelli) runs in the room, saying “it happened!” Ann naturally starts to worry, but “it” is Barbara making the boys’ basketball team. Julie gets indignant over Barb’s attention-stealing ways and how great Barb is — maybe because she doesn’t freak out over stupid stuff, Julie.

Ann lies on the floor to stretch her back, and says a little prayer to her chick “God” about routing for the girls’ team. Meanwhile, Schneider (Pat Harrington) sneaks in — a habit that we see him practicing in the opening credits — and he starts posing in the mirror. Kind of weird, and today I’m sure this guy would not be so welcome in the apartment of a single mom and her two teenage daughters, but it was a different time, and this is Sitcomland afterall. Schneider is the sitcom staple — the looney side character that constantly hits on the main single lady.

David arrives, after Schneider leaves. Something about a quick wedding, but Ann rebuffs him. He’s only 26 and she’s 34. He’s only 26? He looks about 40. Ann cutely wonders why David wants her, and we find out he is her divorce lawyer. Ah ha.

And he is a lawyer that carries mini bottles of booze in his briefcase, in addition to collapsible cups. Nice.

Cue the girls fighting, and Julie forces her mom to make a different decision about her co-ed camping trip, or else she’s is going back to live with Daddy. Ann gets livid, and refuses to budge. Julie is so petulant, and I already don’t like her. Ann gives her bus fare to go back to her dad’s. She hesitates, and even Barb asks her to not go. But Julie is stubborn…and lame.

Now, pretty little Ann is distraught. She says something dramatic and serious about during her first 17 years, her dad made her decisions; the second 17, her husband did, and it’s her first decision and she blows it. Aww. I feel so bad for her. David tries to lighten up the situation, and gently reprimands Ann for not discussing the trip first calmly with Julie before making a decision. Ann agrees.

But Ann also has to call the ex, Ed, about the Julie situation. He starts asking her if she can handle everything, and she starts getting mad. Schneider stops by to hit on Ann (again), and it doesn’t help the conversation with Ed. David, who had popped into the bathroom to shave while Ann calls Ed, enters the room, and now there are all kinds of men in Ann’s apartment.

And back to the phone, Ann is asking Ed to meet Julie at the bus station, but then Julie walks in. She’s such an attention whore.

Ann is tearful, and Julie sees the pain she has caused her mom and even Barbara. Time for a sit-down. Bonnie Franklin gets the opportunity to show off her acting chops with a heart-felt speech to the girls about not being perfect, but she is trying.

I think they are going to make it after all…

And Julie gets to go camping, because…Ann is “not sure”. What? Julie goes to her room to call Trudy, and she says that she cannot go camping. Wow, she made a good decision on her own. Maybe there is hope for her yet — or not.

One Day at a Time, sitcom, television, show, TV, Bonnie Franklin, Valerie Bertinelli, MacKenzie Phillips, Richard Masur, Pat Harrington

Welcome to my synopsis of this, the sixth episode of the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, “Support Your Local Mother“.

We open on Mary and Phyllis in Mary’s fabulous apartment. Mary has just finished sanding a little table, and before she paints it, Phyllis suggests she age it..with a chain. An old rusty chain, why didn’t I think of that? Anyway, Phyllis belts the table with the chain, and encourages Mary to do the same. Mary cannot hit the table without giggling profusely. It’s a little weird, but I think it goes to show us that Mary is really uptight.

Suddenly, a noise at the door interrupts Mary’s flailing attempt at flailing. A woman is sitting with her back against Mary’s front door. It’s Rhoda’s mom, played by Nancy Walker who did those Bounty paper towel commercials in the 1970’s (and 80’s?) . Rhoda is not at home, so Mary asks Rhoda’s mom to wait at her place until Rhoda returns.

The phone rings. It’s Rhoda. She doesn’t want to see her mother, and she doesn’t want Mary to say her name or yes and no too often as it will give her away to Mrs. Morgenstern . She gives Mary a silly code, if yes say a word that starts with A, and no is a B-word. All is going swimmingly until Mary says, “Ok, bye, Rhoda.”

We finally get to see Rhoda’s apartment and it looks like a cross between Jeannie’s genie bottle and the girls apartment in the Ted Knight show (post-MTMS) Too Close for Comfort.

Rhoda has issues with her Jewish Mom’s way of making her feel guilty. And because Rhoda is stubborn as a mule, Rhoda’s mom will be staying at Mary’s. She tries to pay Mary for the accommodations, and she is quite cute doing so — a frenetic struggle later, and she finally just puts it in Mary’s purse.

Next morning, and no Mrs. Morgenstern. Rhoda calls, trying to disguise her voice; Mary tells her to grow up and come down. Mrs. Morgenstern gets back and comes bearing a gift for Mary. Mary is starting to feel the same way about Rhoda’s mom that Rhoda feels. Mrs. Ida Morgenstern has a way of grinding on you, playing the victim, the long-suffering mother — a comedy staple. Mary’s gift is a duo of scarves, and even though she gushes about them, Ida apologizes for her not liking them. See what I mean.

Cut to the office. Mary is wearing two scarves.

WJM is doing a special story on the positive side of air pollution. Murray explains that the station is owned by the president of the local smelting plant. Brilliant. But Mary wasn’t aware of the special, and that means overtime and a late night. And she forgot Ted’s insignia (?), so she tries calling her “mama” to come by the station with it.

Mary freaks out in Mr. Grant’s office over the insignia. Grant tries a pep talk, and threatens to fire her. But he doesn’t mean it. Mary is super-lovable, but she has been distracted the last couple of days. She cries in that really odd fake cry that Mary Tyler Moore does, which is both off-putting and kinda cute.

Mary arrives home and Ida has the place spotless. She gives Mary her messages, by way of how many times the phone rang. And Ida drops the bomb that Mary should kick her out. She tries to assuage Mary’s pending guilt by making her promise to write. Like Rhoda did, just now, to tell her to go home to New York.

Mary tries one last time to convince Rhoda to see her mom. She visits Rhoda at her job. She’s a window dresser for a department store (wow, we get to see her at home and at work in the same episode). And Mary brought along Ida. She’s outside the window and as soon as Rhoda sees her…aw, it’s a special moment. And as Mary is left in the window, she tries out her best mannequin impression.

This is a great episode, not only for some nice physical humor, but we finally get to see more of Rhoda’s life, both in terms of her family background and her life outside of the Mary Universe. Personally, I adore Rhoda as a character, so this episode hit the spot. And her mother was a delight. The Ida Morgenstern character also makes it to the Rhoda spinoff.

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Ida Morgenstern, Nancy Walker, Bounty ads, Ted Knight, Too Close for Comfort, Phyllis, first season

So they have run out of clever episode titles by this, the 5th episode from the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Have I mentioned how lame the opening credits sequence is…I always hate it when an actress is driving and they just look ultra-alert like that’s what you look like when you are driving…

Open in on the news room, Mary’s on the phone, doing nothing as usual. What a great job, seriously, she has nothing to do, except take Mr. Grant’s abuse and make some phone calls — maybe that is all associate producers do.

A Mr. Carelli is here for Mr. Grant and after Mary does the receptionist’s job, Mr. Grant knows him and brushes him off. To make matters worse, he’s in insurance now, and Mary falls for the pity thing. And now, he coming over to talk about insurance with her. Ah, the pushy insurance salesman…classic early comedy stereotype.

Mary is doing Rhoda’s hair in the next scene, maybe that night, it’s not clear. Phyllis pops by to get the girls’ support for her pro-capital punishment raffle with the grand prize being an antique guillotine, but the girls are not interested.

How ’bout that? Frank Carelli is a day early, and he’s talking really loudly. Phyllis spills it that she and Lars are going to be frozen when they die. Awesome. Like Fry…

When Frank opens his briefcase, he “accidentally” pulls out his old football glory pictures. And why, I don’t know, maybe he’s picking up on Mary. Nope, he thinks he’ll be a great sportscaster. Maybe she can say something to Lou. Mary hedges the pressure sell, but she folds. She always does.

Cut to Mary talking to Mr. Grant about the sportscaster job, but the job is highly-sought-after, and Mr. Grant doesn’t think Frank is the guy, but he’s willing to give him an audition. Mary takes that as triumph, and returning to her desk, Frank is now under her desk. He’s too much. And because he is too much, I know he won’t get the job. He would be a terrible regular cast member. Luckily, he plays Mary his demo “diary” tape, and he is terrible.

Rhoda and Mary are having dinner, listening to the tape. And why? Mary is one of those people who thinks she can help people, no matter how sad sack they are, and the diary contains a passage when Frank gets fired. Yep, Mary is going to help that Frank. Cue the sad music. And no laughter.

And maybe it’s the next day or next week. Frank arrives with ingredients for dinner, and Rhoda thinks that Frank is after Mary. Mary poo-poo’s the idea, but Frank has no idea what the concept “personal space” means and admits that he likes bigger girls.

It’s minutes for the audition, and Murray is trying to help Frank add some jazz to his try-out sportscast. But there is no helping this guy. Another auditioner, played by real-life 3-time Pro-Bowler Timothy Brown, is a total hot shot, and an African-American, but this is pre-Affirmative Action days, so I guess that won’t make a difference. And as TV is 98% white, we know that the hotshot ain’t gettin’ the job either.

If the numbers don’t tell you how white TV was or is, Timothy Brown also played a guy named “Spearchucker” Jones on M*A*S*H in 1972.

Back at Mary’s and Frank’s depressed. Mary is trying to give him a pep talk, but Frank never made the first string, so owning a restaurant is out of the question. This guy should coach little kids.

He starts talking about Florida as a paradise, and he’s jetting off for there tomorrow. He’s crazy, and I hope he is leaving, because he’s lame. But no, he’s off with high fives and a rah-rah spirit.

Mary and Rhoda enter Mary’s apartment again. Mary gets a tape in the mail with no label or return address. No way, it’s Frank. And guess what, he’s coaching kids…well, a park director job, and he’s so happy!!

I called it.

I guess “Keep Your Guard Up” makes more sense now, but it’s still not that clever.

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Lou Grant, Mary, Phyllis

I am thinking the title of this the fourth episode from the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore Show is a play on “money isn’t everything”, but I kind of have a feeling I am off on that one.

Open on the news room, and Ted Baxter is overthinking his answers on a questionaire from his fan club, and Murray needs an out-of-the-ordinary human-interest story to close the broadcast. He finds a little blurb in the paper about a club for divorced people — which must have still been a little exotic back in 1970 (bottom graph on left show this to be true), because I don’t quite get the “oddness” of the support group.

Back in Mary’s awesome apartment, Rhoda and Mary are exercising — Rhoda in baggy sweats and Mary in a leotard topped with a t-shirt. Odd combo, Mary. Rhoda just happened to see the news tonight and asks Mary about the divorce club thing. Of course, she wants to join and wants Mary to do it with her.

The kicker is that the divorce people’s club gets considerable discounts on travel to Europe if you are a member. Rhoda is a great salesperson, and Mary is sold.

It’s the “Better Luck Next Time” Club. Awesome. And from the get-go it seems more like a Cookie Kwan/Lindsay Nagel networking event from an episode of the Simpsons. There is a creepy dentist — the official club dentist — and he is going on and on about Mary’s wonderfully fabulous teeth. Mary is terrible at lying about her non-divorced divorced status, but luckily, lying is where Rhoda really shines.

The girls are forced to mingle with lame divorced people, with Mary trying hard to be polite and Rhoda not bothering. They get picked up on by some real winners, which is making me think that this theme of the struggles of the single girl will be a big part of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Mary’s had enough, but she is stopped from escaping by the beginning of the official meeting in which the club’s officers are being elected. Do I see a secretary position for Mary? No, the scene ends.

Back at the AA (awesome apartment), Mary is peeved. Phyllis calls and the news comes out. Mary was elected Vice President. Gee, I was being a little sexist there, eh, thinking she would be secretary instead of VP. Just trying to put myself in a 1970’s frame of mind.

Now, Mary has just arrived at the creepy dentist from the BLNT club. He is really creepy, and I cannot figure out Mary is still in the chair. The writing is very sexual beneath the surface, and the guy playing the dentist reminds me of Phil Hartman. And that makes me sad, because I really miss Phil Hartman.

Mary is forced to fess up about not being divorced. The dentist absolutely refuses to listen to her as he does not want to not work on her teeth. And what year did Marathon Man come out, because some of this scene is really, really similar in that a dentist is exploiting someone in a vulnerable position, and I want to think that it is on purpose. I’ll check on that.
[Marathon Man the book was published in 1974, and the film was released in 1976 -- just a coincidence, I guess]

The dentist’s real motivations for nominating Mary for VP was that his brother was running and he thought that by nominating Mary, his brother would be sure to win. He forces her to return to the club, tell the truth and resign, or he’ll snitch about her singleness.

Cut to the next meeting. The dentist offers Mary an out by letting her say she has reconciled with her phony ex. And now, Mary is forced to lie, which gets her out of confessing her lie, but she is terrible at lying. The guest characters we met earlier all object as she was just elected last week, and want to give her a shot anyway. Mary frustratingly confesses her sin in order to get the hell out of this crazy club. Rhoda defends her, by saying she is not really divorced either…and then everyone else starts confessing. No one is divorced, but the Young Republicans were all losers. Brilliant.

[And after watching this, yes, it is a play on "money isn't everything." Divorce represents the saving of money in terms of a ticket to Paris. Clever...]

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Mary Richards, Rhoda Morgenstern, divorce, single girl, comedy, Marathon Man, Phil Hartman, Cookie Kwan, Lindsay Nagel, Simpsons, Young Republicans

First, I love the title of the episode, “Bess You is My Daughter Now.” In so far as we are now here on the third episode of the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, two of the three episode titles are clever, and if there is one thing I like, it’s clever.

Also, I am hoping that this episode has something more than just Mary’s love life as a subject. Not that her lovelife isn’t funny, but it’s time to expand.

We open in the news room, Murray and Mary are watching the moronic Ted Baxter refer to a veterinarian as a vegetarian. Rhoda phones, Mary’s late, and is going to meet her at her place before heading out to a movie.

Rhoda is waiting at Mary’s place, because you know with the whole issue of Rhoda wanting Mary’s apartment in the pilot, as the main character’s best friend, she’ll be in that apartment all the times anyway, so she might as well just have a key. Anyway, Phyllis needs Mary to watch Bess, as Lars (the never-seen husband) has come done with the chicken pox, which for for some reason, Rhoda finds hilarious because it’s a kids disease. But I’m pretty sure that the older you get, the more dangerous chicken pox can be, so way to go, Rhoda, he could die and you’re laughing at him. I guess they didn’t know that about chicken pox back in 1970.

Bess enters in full drag — Phyllis’ wig and makeup. By the way, Bess calls Phyllis Phyllis, because Phyllis reads child psychology books and she’s modern, which means that Bess is very angsty for a ten-year-old. I like her.

Phyllis gives Mary a beer stein, as that is what Bess likes to drink milk from. Now, I love her.

Mary takes Bess shopping the next day, because all little girls need to grow up to be consumers. It’s a pretty lame montage, but it does establish that Bess is growing fond of Mary - and the attention. She starts acting like a little girl again, instead of a morose little adult. Mary’s girlish enthusiasm for life wins the day.

Back at the apartment, Rhoda comes over and notices what a nice little short person Bess is. And then of course, Mary congratulations herself on her potential to be a great mom. Always with the traditional woman’s role in society, isn’t it, Mary?

Phyllis arrives to announce that Lars only had poison oak. Bess doesn’t want to come home, and Phyllis’ modern mothering supports her decision in a reverse-psychology sort-of way — because that always works.

Mary thinks she is to blame for this new independence of Bess. Phyllis knows it’s a phase, but doesn’t let the opportunity to be passive-aggressive go to waste.

Back to Ted Baxter and his pronunciation coach, Murray, practicing the upcoming newscast. This is going to be an on-going joke, methinks.

Bess shows up at the WJM office. We get a nice dose of Ted and Mr. Grant, with a side of Murray offering Bess the anchor job after she correctly says Richard Milhouse Nixon rather than Ted’s Richard Mil-horse Nixon.

Back at “home” with Bess, and I just noticed that Mary has a Joan Miro print on her wall. She’s so hip. Bess goes out for TV dinners, and Phyllis brings over some cabbage soup. Typical kid. They don’t want Mom’s cabbage soup, and tricks the other adult into junk food.

Mary has to come out finally and tell Phyllis that she doesn’t agree with Phyllis’ parenting skills, and Mary thinks that if Phyllis shows Bess how she really feels, instead of being so “strong”, Bess will want to come home. Phyllis’ insecurity over being a mom had lead her down a draconian of the Ayn Rand school of parenting. When instead if she showed her emotional side and her love for her daughter, she would have a better relationship with her.

Ah, Mary…she can fix anything. She might just make it after all.

And there is an odd little coda at the end of “Bess, You is My Daughter Now” — Mary and Rhoda talk over some credits. Have they done that before?

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Mary Richards, WJM News, Phyllis, Rhoda, Bess You is My daughter now, season one, Lou Grant

This is the second episode of the first season of the seminal Mary Tyler Moore Show (originally aired on September 26, 1970), and we finally get to see Mary doing a real job at her new news job. She gets to read off the ratings for Mr. Grant during an odd all-standing meeting. She defends the ratings for the show among young people as she watched it even before she got the job.

Mr. Grant informs Mary that she isn’t young. Oh, no he didn’t! And then the mail boy calls her “ma’am” when he needs her to move.

Cut to a bitch session with Rhoda. Mary doesn’t want to complain about being single, but she is, so there it is. It’s awesome how quickly her and Rhoda became fast friends. I guess being lonely in a new city brings the gals together.

Enter Phyllis. Cloris Leachman really is a goddess. She plays Phyllis as such a great contrast to the single girls, as someone who fell for the advertising of marriage, but wishes she could take it back for a refund.

The ladies are pondering which available men they knew that they wouldn’t mind getting to know better, and I think I smell an awkward double-date coming up.

Mary phones up Howard, a guy she dated once four years ago, and the dude is total stalker material, but Mary doesn’t remember this until it is too late. And then Rhoda calls up her potential beau, a guy she hit with her car a few months ago. He accepts the invite to Mary’s for drinks, but…he’s bringing his wife. Sweet. This should go swimmingly.

Next night and the girls are all gussied up…for an overly enthusiastic guy and a married guy. Don’t get that one. But Rhoda seems to think that Armand Linton will be divorced soon…until the cute little blond Mrs. Linton walks in. Mrs. Linton is a dead-ringer for Angela from The Office, except too tan.

Howard arrives and he is all hugs and photographs. Why, Mary, why? He is living in a freaky fantasy world in which Mary remembers his favorite drink. This guy is super awesome, but Rhoda steals the scene as the fifth wheel in the room.

Somehow things get confused and the guests think they are there for dinner rather than just drinks. She thought 8:30 was obviously after dinner, and I thought it was going to be a funny moment in the kitchen with Mary and Rhoda covered with flour and sauces, but no, Mary just explains the no-dinner situation, and we move on.

The happy couple take off with some creative excuses. Howard takes the alone time to make a move on Mary, and he is crazy forward proposing marriage. But then he backpedals and says she’s too good to marry and he needs his freedom to jet off to St. Paul at a moment’s notice. Priceless.

Mary agrees quickly, realizing she has an out.

The constantly-eating Rhoda returns and swears off anyone but “a couple she really likes.” Love her.

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary Tyler Moore, Mary Richards, Rhoda, Phyllis, dating, single woman

The Mary Tyler Moore Show began it’s seven season run with “All is All Around.” It all began on a Saturday night at 9:30 way back in September 1970…

Funny how Saturday night is now one of the worst nights in TV programming. In the 1970’s, it was the night to watch network television. CBS Saturdays nights during the decade included All in the Family, M*A*S*H, and The Bob Newhart Show. I couldn’t even name one show that airs currently on a Saturday. What caused that change, I wonder? Did restaurants and bars ask the networks to stop showing their better shows on Saturday, so more people would go out and spend money instead of staying in? Hmm, another topic, another day.

“Love is All Around”

I am not entirely sure whether or not the premiere episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show can be considered a pilot. Pilots are usually rougher than this, more awkward and unsure of themselves. Not only that, but pilots are usually a sort-of audition for a television series. I am thinking that The Mary Tyler Moore Show was guaranteed a spot in the CBS lineup, and maybe it is because of that confidence that “Love is All Around” may just be one of the best pilots ever produced for American television.

Ok, so Mary Tyler Moore is Mary Richards. She has just moved to Minneapolis. She has just left a long-term relationship with a man that she supported through medical school, but who doesn’t want to get married. Mary is living above her long-time friend, Phyllis, who owns a large Victorian house, and her new apartment is coveted by the aggressive and gruff Rhoda. You learn all of this in about four minutes. That is what I call efficient writing. And the writers you ask… James L. Brooks and Allan Burns.

Cloris Leachman is Phyllis and Valerie Harper is Rhoda. Both of these characters will go onto their own spinoffs.

In addition to the exposition in the first part of the episode, we also get insight into Mary’s less-than-assertive nature. However, I have a feeling that is all going to change. Of course, one of the foundations of storytelling is a little something called the character arc, and despite most shows best intentions, I find that few American sitcoms have much in the way of a character arc for it’s main characters. They may change a little, but can you name how Dr. Cosby grew as a character over the many years of the Cosby Show? I didn’t think so.

What makes the Mary Tyler Moore Show so good in terms of story and character is not only the absolutely stellar casting of the wacky band of newsmen that Mary is surrounded by as well as the strong personalities of Phyllis and Rhoda, but also that so many of those characters get character arcs. And when they get to really show development in an episode, it usually resulted in an Emmy.

But let’s get back to our episode, “Love is All Around.” The title itself is coming from MTMS’s theme song. it comes after the opening lines, including “How will you make it on your own?” This all goes back to the theme that Mary is unmarried, but rather than feel sorry for herself like so many of the women of the earlier decades did (but hardly on TV), she is a liberated woman. She was going to make it on her own. Dammit.

So after Mary sees her new home and meets the ascerbic Rhoda, she goes in for an interview at WJM news. She is going for a secretary position, but it has been filled. However, even though Mr. Grant (the brilliant Ed Asner) is “thinking of hiring a man” for the job, he’s willing to give Mary a shot at it, after she shows she’s got “spunk.” Grant: “I hate spunk.”

We also meet for the first time Ted Baxter, played by the delightfully obtuse Ted Knight (Caddyshack); as well as the chronically-put-upon newswriter Murray Slaughter (Gavin MacLeod before the awful Love Boat). These co-workers will become Mary’s family, in a twist from the traditional family-based sitcom. Instead of Mary as a wife or mother, she becomes just that to a hard-drinking father-type Grant, the boobish childish Baxter, and the angst-y Murray.

To finish the episode, Mary’s as-of-a-month-ago ex-boyfriend is coming for a visit. Rhoda hopes he’s coming to beg for Mary back with a marriage proposal, so she can finally get the apartment. Phyllis hopes Mary does get married so she too can understand how “suffocating” it is. The ladies leave, and the doorbell rings.

It’s a very drunken Mr. Grant. And why is he there, Mary asks. Grant slurringly tells Mary she’s got a great caboose, and Mary suddenly realizes why she got the job at WJM. Grant says his wife has a better caboose. And then he starts rambling on about missing her, before he resolves to type her a letter on Mary’s portable. The bell rings again and Bill has arrived. As Bill and Mary express their feelings to one another, Grant’s soused brain thinks it’s his own thoughts and the words go into the letter. Until Mary adds, “All my love, Lou.” And the letter is finished. Brilliant. Grant leaves to send the letter.

Bill is a dumbass, showing up with flowers from a patient in the hospital. He cannot say the words I love you without stumbling, and he pleads with Mary to say something, as she always has a way of saying things just right. But Mary says she is horrible at saying goodbye. Bill gets it, and takes off with a “take care of yourself.” Mary’s response: “I think I just did.”

You go, girl! She’s might just make it after all.

Mary Tyler Moore, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, CBS, All in the Family, Bob Newhart Show, M*A*S*H, Cloris Leachman, Valerie Harper, Ed Asner, Ted Knight, Gavin MacLeod, Caddyshack, The Love Boat,

Bob arrives home to an empty Hartley Apartment. He is expecting Emily to be there, and as he begins looking around for his lovely, lovely wife, the door opens, and Emily is just arriving home. It could be one of those situations that could go the way of jealousy and what was Emily really doing, but no, nothing that scandalous in “Emily, I’m Home…Emily?”

Instead, Emily is coming home from an all-day school board meeting, and Bob mentions that he is happy that she’s home, and how about a quick dinner and a night in watching the game. So Emily doesn’t watch football, and that makes me think either she likes basketball or Bob doesn’t really care about whether or not Emily enjoys the games that he is always watching. It doesn’t matter as Emily’s school board meeting is not really over. They have broken into committees and Em’s committee is on their way to the Hartley Apartment.

What about Bob?

He’s decided to watch the game on the TV which is on those cute little TV carts that allow you to watch TV anywhere. It’s different from today, as if it were 2009, there would be a plasma in every room. But wait, the committee has just arrived and Bob has to meet them. One of the teachers thinks Bob is a chiropractor. Another crack at the fact that even though Bob is a Dr. Hartley, he is not a traditional doctor. Ah, the 70’s.

It is kind of a funny thing, the whole psychologist thing. Psychology in the 70’s was still a rather “crazy”, new-age-y kind of thing that not everyone fully accepted as a legitimate field of “medicine.” I don’t think that new watchers of the Bob Newhart Show would fully get that. I don’t fully get that, but I do have some television and film history courses under my belt which tells me that the 70’s was one of those periods in which a lot of traditional mores and cultural ideals started shifting. It’s a generational thing. My grandparents would never have thought of going to a psychologist, whereas I run out of fingers and toes counting the number of friends I have with shrinks.

But I digress, the episode moves on. There are some comedic moments in the bedroom with Bob watching basketball. A beer commercial comes on, tempting him, and he realizes that he is kind of a prisoner in his own home. It’s a funny moment when he puts on a suit in order to walk to the kitchen.

Anyway, the episode takes an odd turn the next day when Emily announces that the school board has offered her a job. But who will clean, cook, and wash clothes???

And that’s where the episode goes. Emily takes the job, the Hartley’s get a Spanish-speaking housekeeper, and Bob gets lonely enough to ask out Mr. Carlin, his reoccurring patient that doesn’t think that anyone likes him. He really is a darling character, played by the perfectly-cast Jack Riley (right).

Bob gets drunk, and that alone is enough of a reason to watch the full-episode.

The whole crux of the conflict in “Emily, I’m home…Emily?” is that Bob thinks he is a liberal, modern guy, but really he would prefer Emily to continue subbing instead of taking a full-time job. Remember when Bob freaked out about the expensive birthday watch that Emily spent her money on…Bob gave her sh*t about spending the money and he makes a comment about the small income she has. Stupid Bob. Does he want Emily to be her own person and make more money of her own, or does he like having her under his thumb?

Bob and Emily talk it out, of course, and Emily’s new job makes her really happy. Bob’s got nothin’ on that.

Emily keeps her job.

Bob has to learn Spanish.

Trivia: Jack Riley is the male voice in those Country Crock commercials.

Bob Newhart, Bob Newhart Show, sitcom, television history, 1970’s, liberal, modern

Ooh. We get a teaser in this episode, the 19th of the first season of the Bob Newhart Show. Bob Newhart is known in comedy history as the king of the one-sided phone conversations, and we get a taste of it before the credits roll.

Ew...

Howard’s baby sister is coming for a visit. He wants to stash some stuff at the Hartley’s. You know, women’s clothes, a hair dryer, some unmentionables…He doesn’t want his little sis getting the wrong idea about his swingin’ 70’s divorcee lifestyle.

Finally, we get to see Howard’s apartment. He is having Bob and Emily over for dinner to introduce them to his lovely sister, Debbie. Howard is convinced his sister is a sweet, innocent, impressionable kid and he is trying his hardest to make it seem that he has no life whatsoever in terms of women and sex. It’s refreshing to see a classic TV show so frank about the life of a single man. I have to wonder how old Howard is supposed to be? Or how old his parent’s are, since Debbie is 22.

Brilliant moment alert! When the Hartley’s arrive, Howard offers them a drink, and he wheels out a beverage cart stocked with those little airplane-sized bottles of booze. Howard checks on dinner and Debbie asks Bob about his being a “shrink.” We all know that Bob hates that word, but he humors her. She mentions that she did a new age-y sensory awareness weekend the previous summer and she got to run naked through the woods. Um, I don’t think that Debbie is quite as innocent that Howard thinks she is.

More brilliance at dinner. Howard is serving…airplane food. For anyone who hasn’t flown before oh, say, 1995, when you flew, you got meal service. Actual no fooling food. Hot food, that came on little trays, and though they weren’t very good, at least the airlines were trying. Now, you can buy those stupid snack boxes full of salty treats. Super. I always take my own food on planes. I mean, come on, you can buy fast food at airports or salty snacks on the plane. No wonder Americans are so fat.

But I digress…There is a wine service gag that is priceless! Bob Newhart is so deadpan, and it is such a delight in this world of sitcom dopes and broad physical humor. Too bad this show is more than 35 years old.

A few days later at the office…

Emily sneaks a quick conversation with Jerry, asking him to take out Debbie, to give her a little relief from Howard’s big-brotherness. Jerry agrees, once Emily says Debbie is hot. He’s soooo shallow. That is one of the great things about the Bob Newhart Show. It’s a rather modern depiction of the single man, as seen in both Howard and Jerry. Howard is divorced and thus scared of commitment, lest it goes south, and Jerry is a unrepentant bachelor and afraid of commitment, lest he gets bored with one woman.

Jerry comes to the Hartley’s to pick Debbie up for the date. Howard acts like a dad watching his daughter go out to prom. For a blind date, there are immediate sparks between Jerry and Debbie.

I think you can guess where this is going…

The Hartley’s apartment is dark. Someone starts banging on the door. I bet that’s Howard. Bingo. He walks in with his red phone, which makes me laugh. Who has a red phone? The “kids” get home late. Howard tries to act like he wasn’t freaking out, which he was.

Next day, and Howard pops by Bob’s office. He needs to talk. No! (shocked disbelief) Howard breaks down, asking Bob why he treats his sister like a little girl. Bob explains it may take a while to figure that out, and Howard starts on a slobbery analysis of his own. And Bob sees that some cures are instant. A funny moment, that is cut short by the next appointment. How is this guy in charge of navigating an airplane?

Debbie leaves, and Howard comes over to thank Bob and Emily for dealing with him during this trying time. Bob had just been expressing how miraculous Howard’s analysis was and how it’s the quickest cure he’s ever seen. Howard agrees, and Emily says how nice it must be to be honest with Debbie about hairdryers, and she then says that Howard must know about Frank. Oops. Emily, Emily, Emily…

This is a good episode to watch, if you want to see an example of why the Bob Newhart Show was such a hit and why it continues to have the legacy it does. Bob Newhart does best when surrounded by crazy people, and between Howard and the patient he deals with in the middle of the episode, he is knee-deep in neuroses.

Trivia: Heather Menzies, who plays Debbie, was married to the late Robert Urich. She is a cancer survivor and works at the Urich Fund for Sarcoma Research at the University of Michigan (my alma matter) Comprehensive Cancer Center. She also played Louisa Von Trapp in The Sound of Music.

Bob Newhart, comedy history, comedian, one-sided phone conversation, 70’s, television show, classic TV, sitcom, Bob Newhart Show, Heather Menzies, Robert Urich, University of Michigan, cancer, survivor, The Sound of Music

We are working our way through the first season of the iconic The Bob Newhart Show…Specifically, the 18th episode.

In “The Two Loves of Dr. Hartley“, Bob is faced with a patient that confuses her gratitude for Bob’s services as a psychologist for love. Seems Mrs. Walker lost a lot of weight, thanks to Dr. Hartley, and she is sure she is in love with Bob — Trust her, she’s been married for 12 years and “this is different.”

Oops, end of the session, and she needs to go. But she is in a fragile state, now that Bob is not reacting the way she had hoped. Bob pawns her off on Jerry (the Dentist), to keep her mouth busy, as Mrs. Walker eats when she is upset. Problem not solved, but deferred. For comedy, I’m sure.

Bob arrives home to a headless Emily, who has a zipper stuck in a full-length black turtleneck dress. She is so chic, seriously. Cue phone ringing. Guess who…it’s Mrs. Walker. She threatening to eat a twinkie! Bob talks her down, but he now has Emily’s insecurity to deal with. Bob has to explain to think of her like a “rock star with fans.” She’s sorry for having a twinge of jealousy, but she has another one before they can leave for a lovely dinner for two. She needs reassurance. Geez, even Suzanne Pleshette needs to be told how pretty she is sometimes…

Next day, and Jerry is trying to explain how Vegas works to Bob in terms of gambling, but Bob will only bet a quarter. He’s so cheap. Bob and Jerry were just on their way out for the night, off to watch the game at Bob’s. Oh, no, Mrs. Walker meets them at the elevator. She has to talk to him. Mrs. Walker might not be Mrs. Walker anymore. She told Mr. Walker all About Bob. Oh, snap.

On the homefront, Emily is setting up snacks for Bob and Jerry and Howard for the big game. Ten minutes to game time, and Bob is still at the office. Mrs. Walker is crying, and Bob lets Em know that he’ll be later than expected. Emily is having a hard time, and needs to talk, and whining to Howard is the best she’s got. Does she have any friends?

Howard bumbles his way through Emily’s crisis. There are these two huge mugs of beer on the table getting warm. You know, those beer mugs that you see in German beer halls. Hmm, beer. Oh, where was I? Oh, yeah, Emily is stupidly talking to Howard, and Howard is bungling everything up. Jerry arrives. He tries to cover for Bob. Oh, this is going to be funny. Howard and Jerry are the two worst people to have around when you are upset.

The guys are watching a great Bears game. Bob finally gets home, and as soon as he has shut the door, Howard and Jerry are up and leaving. Bob is trying to play off the situation as nothing big, but Emily is upset and you know what is going to happen. Bob and Emily need to talk. Emily needs Bob to dump Mrs. Walker.

Bob insists this is Emily’s problem. Bob asks if this is all because Emily’s sister got a training bra first. Bob then tries to give Emily examples, but they all turn into doctors that marry patients. Oopsy. Bob tries again, but is distracted by the game on the television. Strangely, this does not upset Emily — instead she tells him she loves him. Huh?

A few days go by, Emily pops by the office. And Mrs. Walker is just leaving Bob’s office. How convenient! Oh, but wait, Mrs. Walker is back together — happily — with Mr. Walker. Emily mutters how happy she is to hear that. And the end.

Yeah, where did that ending come from? A little abrupt for the Bob Newhart Show. Another fairly forgettable episode, but one that shows us that one of the perils of psychology is that your patients may fall in love with you. Yes, even if you look like Bob Newhart.

Trivia: The actress who plays Mrs. Walker, Emmaline Henry, usually played wife characters, but in real life, she never married.

Bob Newhart Show, Bob Newhart, Suzanne Pleshette, Bears, Emmaline Henry, psychologist, psychology, The Two Loves of Dr Hartley