Retro TV

Bob arrives home to an empty Hartley Apartment. He is expecting Emily to be there, and as he begins looking around for his lovely, lovely wife, the door opens, and Emily is just arriving home. It could be one of those situations that could go the way of jealousy and what was Emily really doing, but no, nothing that scandalous in “Emily, I’m Home…Emily?”

Instead, Emily is coming home from an all-day school board meeting, and Bob mentions that he is happy that she’s home, and how about a quick dinner and a night in watching the game. So Emily doesn’t watch football, and that makes me think either she likes basketball or Bob doesn’t really care about whether or not Emily enjoys the games that he is always watching. It doesn’t matter as Emily’s school board meeting is not really over. They have broken into committees and Em’s committee is on their way to the Hartley Apartment.

What about Bob?

He’s decided to watch the game on the TV which is on those cute little TV carts that allow you to watch TV anywhere. It’s different from today, as if it were 2009, there would be a plasma in every room. But wait, the committee has just arrived and Bob has to meet them. One of the teachers thinks Bob is a chiropractor. Another crack at the fact that even though Bob is a Dr. Hartley, he is not a traditional doctor. Ah, the 70’s.

It is kind of a funny thing, the whole psychologist thing. Psychology in the 70’s was still a rather “crazy”, new-age-y kind of thing that not everyone fully accepted as a legitimate field of “medicine.” I don’t think that new watchers of the Bob Newhart Show would fully get that. I don’t fully get that, but I do have some television and film history courses under my belt which tells me that the 70’s was one of those periods in which a lot of traditional mores and cultural ideals started shifting. It’s a generational thing. My grandparents would never have thought of going to a psychologist, whereas I run out of fingers and toes counting the number of friends I have with shrinks.

But I digress, the episode moves on. There are some comedic moments in the bedroom with Bob watching basketball. A beer commercial comes on, tempting him, and he realizes that he is kind of a prisoner in his own home. It’s a funny moment when he puts on a suit in order to walk to the kitchen.

Anyway, the episode takes an odd turn the next day when Emily announces that the school board has offered her a job. But who will clean, cook, and wash clothes???

And that’s where the episode goes. Emily takes the job, the Hartley’s get a Spanish-speaking housekeeper, and Bob gets lonely enough to ask out Mr. Carlin, his reoccurring patient that doesn’t think that anyone likes him. He really is a darling character, played by the perfectly-cast Jack Riley (right).

Bob gets drunk, and that alone is enough of a reason to watch the full-episode.

The whole crux of the conflict in “Emily, I’m home…Emily?” is that Bob thinks he is a liberal, modern guy, but really he would prefer Emily to continue subbing instead of taking a full-time job. Remember when Bob freaked out about the expensive birthday watch that Emily spent her money on…Bob gave her sh*t about spending the money and he makes a comment about the small income she has. Stupid Bob. Does he want Emily to be her own person and make more money of her own, or does he like having her under his thumb?

Bob and Emily talk it out, of course, and Emily’s new job makes her really happy. Bob’s got nothin’ on that.

Emily keeps her job.

Bob has to learn Spanish.

Trivia: Jack Riley is the male voice in those Country Crock commercials.

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Ooh. We get a teaser in this episode, the 19th of the first season of the Bob Newhart Show. Bob Newhart is known in comedy history as the king of the one-sided phone conversations, and we get a taste of it before the credits roll.

Ew...

Howard’s baby sister is coming for a visit. He wants to stash some stuff at the Hartley’s. You know, women’s clothes, a hair dryer, some unmentionables…He doesn’t want his little sis getting the wrong idea about his swingin’ 70’s divorcee lifestyle.

Finally, we get to see Howard’s apartment. He is having Bob and Emily over for dinner to introduce them to his lovely sister, Debbie. Howard is convinced his sister is a sweet, innocent, impressionable kid and he is trying his hardest to make it seem that he has no life whatsoever in terms of women and sex. It’s refreshing to see a classic TV show so frank about the life of a single man. I have to wonder how old Howard is supposed to be? Or how old his parent’s are, since Debbie is 22.

Brilliant moment alert! When the Hartley’s arrive, Howard offers them a drink, and he wheels out a beverage cart stocked with those little airplane-sized bottles of booze. Howard checks on dinner and Debbie asks Bob about his being a “shrink.” We all know that Bob hates that word, but he humors her. She mentions that she did a new age-y sensory awareness weekend the previous summer and she got to run naked through the woods. Um, I don’t think that Debbie is quite as innocent that Howard thinks she is.

More brilliance at dinner. Howard is serving…airplane food. For anyone who hasn’t flown before oh, say, 1995, when you flew, you got meal service. Actual no fooling food. Hot food, that came on little trays, and though they weren’t very good, at least the airlines were trying. Now, you can buy those stupid snack boxes full of salty treats. Super. I always take my own food on planes. I mean, come on, you can buy fast food at airports or salty snacks on the plane. No wonder Americans are so fat.

But I digress…There is a wine service gag that is priceless! Bob Newhart is so deadpan, and it is such a delight in this world of sitcom dopes and broad physical humor. Too bad this show is more than 35 years old.

A few days later at the office…

Emily sneaks a quick conversation with Jerry, asking him to take out Debbie, to give her a little relief from Howard’s big-brotherness. Jerry agrees, once Emily says Debbie is hot. He’s soooo shallow. That is one of the great things about the Bob Newhart Show. It’s a rather modern depiction of the single man, as seen in both Howard and Jerry. Howard is divorced and thus scared of commitment, lest it goes south, and Jerry is a unrepentant bachelor and afraid of commitment, lest he gets bored with one woman.

Jerry comes to the Hartley’s to pick Debbie up for the date. Howard acts like a dad watching his daughter go out to prom. For a blind date, there are immediate sparks between Jerry and Debbie.

I think you can guess where this is going…

The Hartley’s apartment is dark. Someone starts banging on the door. I bet that’s Howard. Bingo. He walks in with his red phone, which makes me laugh. Who has a red phone? The “kids” get home late. Howard tries to act like he wasn’t freaking out, which he was.

Next day, and Howard pops by Bob’s office. He needs to talk. No! (shocked disbelief) Howard breaks down, asking Bob why he treats his sister like a little girl. Bob explains it may take a while to figure that out, and Howard starts on a slobbery analysis of his own. And Bob sees that some cures are instant. A funny moment, that is cut short by the next appointment. How is this guy in charge of navigating an airplane?

Debbie leaves, and Howard comes over to thank Bob and Emily for dealing with him during this trying time. Bob had just been expressing how miraculous Howard’s analysis was and how it’s the quickest cure he’s ever seen. Howard agrees, and Emily says how nice it must be to be honest with Debbie about hairdryers, and she then says that Howard must know about Frank. Oops. Emily, Emily, Emily…

This is a good episode to watch, if you want to see an example of why the Bob Newhart Show was such a hit and why it continues to have the legacy it does. Bob Newhart does best when surrounded by crazy people, and between Howard and the patient he deals with in the middle of the episode, he is knee-deep in neuroses.

Trivia: Heather Menzies, who plays Debbie, was married to the late Robert Urich. She is a cancer survivor and works at the Urich Fund for Sarcoma Research at the University of Michigan (my alma matter) Comprehensive Cancer Center. She also played Louisa Von Trapp in The Sound of Music.

Bob Newhart, comedy history, comedian, one-sided phone conversation, 70’s, television show, classic TV, sitcom, Bob Newhart Show, Heather Menzies, Robert Urich, University of Michigan, cancer, survivor, The Sound of Music

We are working our way through the first season of the iconic The Bob Newhart Show…Specifically, the 18th episode.

In “The Two Loves of Dr. Hartley“, Bob is faced with a patient that confuses her gratitude for Bob’s services as a psychologist for love. Seems Mrs. Walker lost a lot of weight, thanks to Dr. Hartley, and she is sure she is in love with Bob — Trust her, she’s been married for 12 years and “this is different.”

Oops, end of the session, and she needs to go. But she is in a fragile state, now that Bob is not reacting the way she had hoped. Bob pawns her off on Jerry (the Dentist), to keep her mouth busy, as Mrs. Walker eats when she is upset. Problem not solved, but deferred. For comedy, I’m sure.

Bob arrives home to a headless Emily, who has a zipper stuck in a full-length black turtleneck dress. She is so chic, seriously. Cue phone ringing. Guess who…it’s Mrs. Walker. She threatening to eat a twinkie! Bob talks her down, but he now has Emily’s insecurity to deal with. Bob has to explain to think of her like a “rock star with fans.” She’s sorry for having a twinge of jealousy, but she has another one before they can leave for a lovely dinner for two. She needs reassurance. Geez, even Suzanne Pleshette needs to be told how pretty she is sometimes…

Next day, and Jerry is trying to explain how Vegas works to Bob in terms of gambling, but Bob will only bet a quarter. He’s so cheap. Bob and Jerry were just on their way out for the night, off to watch the game at Bob’s. Oh, no, Mrs. Walker meets them at the elevator. She has to talk to him. Mrs. Walker might not be Mrs. Walker anymore. She told Mr. Walker all About Bob. Oh, snap.

On the homefront, Emily is setting up snacks for Bob and Jerry and Howard for the big game. Ten minutes to game time, and Bob is still at the office. Mrs. Walker is crying, and Bob lets Em know that he’ll be later than expected. Emily is having a hard time, and needs to talk, and whining to Howard is the best she’s got. Does she have any friends?

Howard bumbles his way through Emily’s crisis. There are these two huge mugs of beer on the table getting warm. You know, those beer mugs that you see in German beer halls. Hmm, beer. Oh, where was I? Oh, yeah, Emily is stupidly talking to Howard, and Howard is bungling everything up. Jerry arrives. He tries to cover for Bob. Oh, this is going to be funny. Howard and Jerry are the two worst people to have around when you are upset.

The guys are watching a great Bears game. Bob finally gets home, and as soon as he has shut the door, Howard and Jerry are up and leaving. Bob is trying to play off the situation as nothing big, but Emily is upset and you know what is going to happen. Bob and Emily need to talk. Emily needs Bob to dump Mrs. Walker.

Bob insists this is Emily’s problem. Bob asks if this is all because Emily’s sister got a training bra first. Bob then tries to give Emily examples, but they all turn into doctors that marry patients. Oopsy. Bob tries again, but is distracted by the game on the television. Strangely, this does not upset Emily — instead she tells him she loves him. Huh?

A few days go by, Emily pops by the office. And Mrs. Walker is just leaving Bob’s office. How convenient! Oh, but wait, Mrs. Walker is back together — happily — with Mr. Walker. Emily mutters how happy she is to hear that. And the end.

Yeah, where did that ending come from? A little abrupt for the Bob Newhart Show. Another fairly forgettable episode, but one that shows us that one of the perils of psychology is that your patients may fall in love with you. Yes, even if you look like Bob Newhart.

Trivia: The actress who plays Mrs. Walker, Emmaline Henry, usually played wife characters, but in real life, she never married.

Bob Newhart Show, Bob Newhart, Suzanne Pleshette, Bears, Emmaline Henry, psychologist, psychology, The Two Loves of Dr Hartley

Continuing on with the first season of the Bob Newhart Show…

It’s Bob’s birthday. Emily awakens him in order to give him his gift. A wrist watch. Aw. She even got it engraved. However, Emily let Bob sleep in because it’s his birthday after all, but he’s late for work.

Carol greets him, she unaware that it is Bob’s birthday. Bob is trying not to make a big deal about his birthday, and of course, he tells everyone to not make a big deal about it, and of course, nobody knows it’s his birthday. Ha, classic.

Jerry notices the fancy new watch, and tells Bob just how expensive it is. Bob plays it off that it’s a gift, and he shouldn’t care how much it costs. Bob really is trying to take the high road here, people, but Jerry forces the issue like he always does. Bob is a passive agent in this scenario, like most scenarios in which Bob finds himself.

Looking at the watch, as a viewer, it is fugly. A shiny, inch and a half wide band, and very garish. And it’s worth $1250…Bob now wonders why Emily would spend so much on a watch. For him.

Bob is too self-conscious to wear his watch. He hides it from his patient, and then takes it off on the El. Emily explains that she just wanted to give him a really nice watch, and she does make her own money teaching (she subs and only makes a few thou a year). Bob ruins an awesome birthday present by making a big deal about Emily spending the cash. Oh, Bob…he just cannot appreciate the sentiment or nice things. Emily points out that the problem is that he is cheap. And yes, she is offended. Bob wants to take off for a walk, but Emily insists she is coming along as she wants to go out to a restaurant — a trap. And Bob should wear the watch to dinner, as everyone will want to see it.

Oops, wrong cast.

Surprise!! Cue all cast members. Carol was only acting that she didn’t know it was Bob’s birthday. She helped Emily plan the party. A sit-down dinner for 12. How fun. Too bad, Bob can’t have fun. Gifts are given. Bob is uncomfortable, and doesn’t want to bore everyone by opening them in front of everyone, thinking he’ll “open them later at home.” No deal, Bob. All gag gifts, too.

A brilliant moment occurs when Carol asks Emily why Bob is so unhappy. Sitting next to Carol is Jerry, who asks the same question. The guy next to Jerry then asks the same question, and you see where this is going. It’s a telephone game around the table at that point, and turns into Bob and Emily are getting a divorce because she spent a hundred thou on that damn watch.

Bob and Emily return home, not speaking, but Bob forces the issue. And he tries to explain his cheapness. She offers to take him to the jewelry store to exchange it for a watch he does want. Ah, she’s the best, and she loves him. Sweet. What a sweet ending.

All in all, a fairly forgettable episode. Bob is cheap, and doesn’t like being the center of attention. I am pretty sure the episode’s name is a take on the Frank Sinatra heroin-addict movie, The Man with a Golden Arm.

And how about this…Hulu has this episode. Enjoy…well, kind of, I mean, yeah, enjoy. It still beats most of what’s on TV…

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Bob is having a minor freakout and needs some alone time. Of course, he doesn’t realize this at first…

“I Want to Be Alone” opens with a hurried morning at the Hartley Apartment. Bob is irritable, but when asked ’sup by Emily, he says it’s nothing. Once he goes into the office, he gets to deal with Mr. Carlin and we discover his awesome head of hair is a “toop” — his pronunciation.

Bob needs to talk to someone and he tries to talk with Jerry, but Jerry is super obtuse as always. He tries relaxing Bob in the dentist chair — yeah, that always works.

The root of the problem is that Bob listens to people all day along, and he’s starting to feel it. He decides to take a vacation to…Chicago, ta-dah!

Wait, doesn’t Bob live in Chicago? Yes, yes, he does, but he thinks that getting a hotel room in the city for four days is a good way to get away from it all and spend some good quality alone time.

I am not entirely sure why this localized solo trip is the solution to Bob’s issues. I kind of think it was one of those ideas that didn’t have a whole lot to it. I mean, think about it. If Bob has four days all by himself, why would you stay in the Avalon Hotel in Chicago? Wouldn’t you run the risk of running into someone you know, Doctor? Why wouldn’t Bob take a short plane trip somewhere else, and it’s not like the episode relied on any scenes from Bob’s vacation other than his arrival in his hotel room. Not sure, but this plot line does nothing for me.

Neither does the episode really. Jokes are thin, and the whole Howard mistaking Bob’s trip for a divorce is played out overly by the end.

All in all, this episode is a bit weak. There is no real basis for what is going on and the fact that Bob is continually put upon to help others and solve all problems of the mental variety is the meat of the Bob Newhart Show. We don’t want to (not) see Bob taking a break from the crazy people in his life.

Remember crazy=funny.

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The premise of “Anything Happen While I Was Gone?” is fairly straightforward. The show opens on a darkened Hartley apartment with newspapers piled up on the coffee table. I assume that Howard was gathering them while they were away. Not sure, nor am I sure why they would even want those newspapers…I think Bob would have read newspapers while he was away. I know, the newspapers were just props to show us the Hartley were out of town.

Oh, yeah, and they got back from Mexico, so I guess Emily’s fear of flying is selective.

Howard greets Bob and Emily, and when asked if anything exciting happened while they were away, replies, “Nothing…except the fire.” The fire is never mentioned again, so lame joke.

The next scene is Bob greeting Carol, who is answering all the urgent phone calls that seem to be coming in just to set up the “Bob can’t show anyone his pictures of Mexico” joke. And of course, Jerry interrupts Bob’s second attempt to bring up exciting Mexico with his announcement that he is getting married. And the main plot begins.

Not Cynthia, but you get the idea...

Jerry’s new “girl” is a total ballbuster. Hot in a pink, short, dental hygenist dress, but bossy and teethy all the same. She sees Jerry as an easy mark to boss around and as he is a dentist and orthodontist, he must have quite the bank account to make him attractive to women.

The best joke comes during this scene in which Carol is trying tor reschedule a kid’s checkup. The new b*tch, Cynthia (I have always hated that name) takes over Jerry’s appointment book and changes his days off from his weekly handball game day to a day she wants him off. Jerry adds, “I no longer need handball.” Ah, he isn’t taking about sports.

The episode goes to some lengths to show just how bossy Cynthia is and how much she is calling the shots in Jerry’s life. A Mexico-themed slide show at the Hartley’s belabors the fact, and the next day, Cynthia criticizes Emily’s avocado dip. Oh, that is too much. She goes so far as to lie about Jerry getting sick from said dip. Seriously, Jerry cannot marry this she-devil, this succubus.

Jerry tells Bob the date is set for like, two days away, because everyone gets married after a week and a half. Bob and Emily art setting up the poker tables for the Stag party, when Jerry calls to say he won’t be able to make it. Bob rushes off to fix the situation.

Jerry has called the wedding off, but hasn’t told Cynthia yet. Bob talks him through the build-up to the phone call because you know, he’s a psychologist and that is just what he does.

Meanwhile, Emily had to host the assuredly raucous stag party. She gambled away all of her money and all of Bob’s pennies from his penny jar. Hilarity!

Oh, that Emily. How does Bob put up with her?

It’s a charming episode that shows how desperate Jerry is.

Cynthia is played by Elaine Giftos, who looks really familiar, but when I check her out on IMDB, I don’t see anything concrete that I would have seen her in, but she did do a lot of guest shots on a lot of shows, including Magnum P.I. of which I have watched a lot of, so maybe that is where I have seen her.

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