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Valerie Bertinelli is One Hot Motorcycle Mama

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Ok, I absolutely hate this ad, but Valerie Bertinelli is lookin’ fine in this commercial that came out recently.

And no, by no means is the inclusion of this ad spot in any way recommending the Jenny Craig program (unless there is some sort of compensation included — hey, if Val’s gettin’ paid, so should I).

Still, our little formerly rotund Valerie Ex-Van Halen is doing a world of good for Jenny Craig. So much better than that Kristie Alley, crazy and chubby.

Much like how we all just naturally gravitated toward Barbara rather than Julie, it is scientifically proven that Valerie Bertinelli is immensely likeable, and therefore the superior spokesperson for a diet plan. Obese people don’t want to be called fat, they want to see someone sweet and cute lose weight before their eyes in pleasing surroundings rather than what is maybe supposed to be Kirstie Alley’s princess telephone room.

And thanks to the interwebs, you can follow Valerie’s weight-loss journey. She’s blogging about it. Blogging? Please. Why would anyone really care enough to read something written not by Valerie Bertinelli, but someone in the marketing department. It’s obvious because of all the damn product placement. That is not a blog. Blogs are written by loners in their pyjamas that watch far too much television, not former child stars…oh, wait, maybe there is some room for cross-over.

Anyhoo, I think it is great that Valerie is losing all that weight, though truth be told, she still looked good a little chubby. Could this weight loss success story be a stepping stone back onto network television? The girl hasn’t worked consistently since 2003’s last season of Touched by an Angel (which I never watched nor plan to).

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Watching Retro TV is many things to many people. Part anthropology, part TWOP of shows past, and part historical perspective with a tv junkie's short attention span. Watching Retro TV is not the site for the faint at snark. We watch sitcoms, dramas, and even those terrible holiday specials that kept former stars eating through the lean times all in a effort to bring some respectibility and self-respect to those of us who were raised on the network teat. Join us...the kool-aid tastes great.

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